Restless [Reckless Sequel] || Harry Styles AU (DISCONTINUED)

13: part two

My throat burned from holding back tears. "The closest thing I have to family right now is my manager, my best friend, and my boyfriend. I don't even think my boyfriend knows what happened yesterday."

He was in London to record his first single and write with a couple people. He'd called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that if he didn't call or return any texts over the next day, it meant that he was killing it in the studio.

For a moment, I smile.

"Not that he could even fly over here," I added. "There was a big storm on the east coast yesterday. I heard most of the flights are cancelled."

"What about your friend? Have you seen her?" She asked.

"Yeah, she's staying with me in my apartment. You know—the whole 'don't leave a trauma victim alone for at least a week' thing."

"Everyone handles trauma differently," the doctor reasons. "Some don't even need to talk to a professional."

I took in a deep breath and looked around the room. It was raining pretty hard today, so the lighting coming from the windows was very dim.

"Some just need questions answered," I finished her statement for her. I'd heard the same thing come from the therapist I went to after my parents died.

"See this painting?" He pointed to one of the paintings on the wall to my right. It was of a castle and landscape.

"Do you see the dove?"

I didn't, but I nodded anyways.

"That's you. You changed my life," he said.

My mind was going a million miles an hour, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about. None of it made sense to me.

My blood ran cold when he clicked the safety off the gun.

"I'm going to help you, Jessica, because I know you've suffered just as much as I have. I saw it at the cemetery in Seattle. The way you spoke to your parents' headstones just as I speak to mine."

Just as a grimly serene smile crossed his lips—just as his eyes turned sad as they looked at me—just as he said the words, "Don't worry, we'll see them again"—just as he began to slowly lift the gun from his side, a knock came at the door.

"And you want to know my feelings on all of this right?" I asked.

The doctor stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue to talk.

"I feel guilty," I finally said. A humorless smile came to my face because I knew what I was about to say would sound as Stockholm Syndrome-ish as I knew it was. Still, it didn't stop me from feeling that way.

"How so?" She urged me on.

"In the room...he talked. A lot. His parents died in a freeway shooting when he was thirteen. To an extent, I could feel exactly what he felt. He told me that we were the same. We both had 'unanswered questions'. Did they tell you what he was trying to do? Why he did what he did?"

Dr. Reyna nodded.

I heard the dejection in my own voice when I said, "He was gonna take us to heaven. He told me that, and I felt...sorry. I felt sorry that he felt so alone that he believed his only option was to die so that he could be with his parents.