STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 35

“My dad...” I started...

“Knows?”

“How do you know that?”

Zoë shrugged. “Seemed quite obvious since back then in the hospital when you were sick.”

I stared at her wide eyes. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“Well, I did ask you if they knew. But it was just to get your perspective on it.” Zoë said sitting back on the floor. “I felt like it was better if it happened naturally between you guys than me making it happen.”

That was such a lame excuse... but either way, I still told her about it. How I came home. How awkward he made himself be. How I made him say it instead of me... and all of it really.

“Well,” Zoë said smiling at me, “Went well didn't it? And I bet you're learning to make people say things from me.”

Zoë looked at me as if she deserved all the credit and her expression was so cocky that I squinted my eyes at her in slight frustration.

“Right.” I said, crossing my arms and leaning back on the chair. “And who's learning to keep her cool instead of jumping around like a monkey from excitement thanks to moi.”

“Ouch.” Zoë said drawing a cross over her heart making a face as if it hurt. “You're right. But, like a monkey?”

“Like a monkey.” I nodded and pointed at the roof.

“Good point,” Zoë chuckled, “But thanks to whom is it that you've realize that life means much more if you take risks?”

She got one there. And she didn't stop with that one.

“Who's made you notice that music is much more enjoyable if you share it? If you play together with other people?” She continued. “Who's...”

“Okay, fine.” I said raising my hands in surrender. “I admit it. You've brought much more benefit to my life that I have to yours.”

I said that with honesty because it's true. A big part of my life has become much easier than it had appeared to be before. Maybe it's that I simply saw everything as too complicated and annoying when it really wasn't like that. Zoë probably broke that unintentional curse I had set upon myself.

“Maybe.” Zoë said, raising her arms to me. She grabbed my arms and instead of pulling herself up, she pulled ME down which surprised me enough to yelp. “But on my side, everything is less obvious.”

Her lips against mine developed her point, I think....

…

..

.

Sigh... The way she kisses me...

I think it's the fact that we've kissed so many times by now that both me and Zoë know exactly the shape of the other's lips, the way she likes me to kiss her, the place where I know she pleases me by allowing me to rest my hands against her neck...

Everything's like usual... except for that small fact about my dad.

“Hey.” I said, my voice muffle my Zoë's bottom lip.

Zoë stop midway and said “What?”

Despite the shivers that sent down my body I said, “My dad...”

Zoë moved slightly away from me and set her forehead against mine. “If he's like you, Alex, then if he hears anything he'll do anything to ignore it or mute it out.”

I tried to focus on her eyes, but even with my glasses it was hard... Talking about hard... It's not the first time I realize it but kissing with glass is much harder than without glasses. I tend to feel like I need to be careful with trying not to bump that glass against Zoë. It's happened a few times before...

“See,” Zoë said bitting my lip in a smile, “You don't care.”

“Shut up.” I said, taking off my glasses, setting them off somewhere on the floor and pushing Zoë to the floor. I could feel her grunt against my mouth when she hit the floor. It was exhilirating... “Don't you get tired sometimes of being the one in control?”

I don't know if that was an honest question or not... but without my glasses there are two possible effects: I either felt like I had to depend on whatever Zoë did, or I stopped minding what I did because somehow not seeing was on par with not overthinking it.

“Well, no.” Zoë said staring up at me. I could barely see the dark blue part of her eyes since it was so close to the pupil. “But I can be flexible.”

I stared down at her... at all of the things I could barely see....

Is that how I saw the world before she came here...? Like I knew what was there and recognized it... but never really trying to focus on the details?

I mean, come on! It's probably like that.

No matter how much I thought that life had nothing more to offer I was well aware that something could change. I was well aware of it... I was... I've always been. It's just like the opposite. When you feel that life has been a saint with you it might as well take the blessings away from you... and the worst is that even though it might seem random it truly isn't like that.

To me, it's not that things happen for a reason. A reason that comes after what's happened. But a reason that made it happen...

Yet... right now I can't help but wonder if it's both... If Zoë's here, with me, because the people around us knew us, we were connected by music and other random events like being neighbors... or if she's here because of everything that'll happen later...that has already happened... the later of when we met for the first time.

When I thought I was escaping from her for being too beautiful, and she followed me for being interesting...

It's a funny first encounter to be honest...

Zoë Bach...

“I love you.” I said right after I leaned down to her and right before I kissed her. “I love you.”