Finding Mr. Not So Right

Chapter 58: No one else comes close

"I was scared." He said and stood up as well. "I don't know if you will accept me once you knew who i really am." He stopped for a while as i turned to face him before he continued. "And even if you did, i can't risk your safety. Everyone whose involved with us are and will always be in danger. I won't forgive myself if anything bad happens to you." He stared straight into my eyes not blinking.

"Do you think i care about those things? For your information, your not the one to decide whether i want to be in danger or not." I countered, my tears on the brim of my eyes.

"You don't understand Bom.."

"Understand? How will i understand if you won't let me?" I said as my tears finally escaped my eyes.

"Bom..."

"How can you expect me to understand you if you can't bring yourself to do the same for me? You're the one that i want and nobody else, why can't you get that?" I look into his eyes not noticing that I was holding my breath for too long. It aches knowing that the man i've been wanting to spend my life with is the same person who keeps shattering those dreams before it happens. I don't know if i should envy Dara now that there's someone willing to risk everything just to be with her. She found her Mr. Right even if things around them isn't happening according to their plan. Well, i found mine, but i guess he's not ready to jump off a cliff with me.

He was speechless, unable to answer my underlying questions as he maintained a flustered look on his face. "It's ok, you don't have to answer me, i get it now." I said as I gently pulled my hand away from him. I bowed at him and turned around ready to leave. I cried as i walked towards the door. At least he won't see me with my back facing him. This is too much for me to handle for now. Its too painful that i'm beginning to breath rather raggedly. I heard him call my name several times, but i didn't look back. Instead, i walked even faster, whispering to myself not to turn around. As i reached the knob of the door, i was stunned when i saw a hand resting on top of it, preventing it to open.

"Please...stay." He said in his deepest voice i've ever heard. "Don't leave me."

I stay put for a while. Not making any movement. I saw his hand trembling on the door as i heard a sniffing sound from behind me. More tears left my eyes as i heard his soft sobs but i still didn't bother to look back. I stiffened when i felt him place his head on top of my shoulder shaking.

"I just wanted you to be safe, that's all i thought about back then. That's why i left even if it f*cking hurts!" He sobbed harder as i felt his arms circled around me, back hugging me. "But i came back, because i can't last a day away from you."

I felt my knees weaken as he tighten his hug even more, trapping me from his embrace. "Please forgive me. Don't leave...please." He repeatedly begged and when he thought i still wouldn't budge, he twisted me around to face him and kneeled in front of me. I teared up even more when i saw him at his broken state. I've never seen him like this before.

"Hey, get up. Don't do that.." i pulled him up but he stayed down, bowing and looking back at me. "Stand up Seunghyun." I told him again but he stayed put.

"Forgive me please." He said, his tears still streaming down his eyes. My heart constrict while looking at him in that position. What he did to me was so painful, but nothing pains me more than to see him broke down because of me. God, i must be really in love with him for me to feel this way.