I Can't Live Without You (Sequel)

Chapter Seven

  While he was being observed Kenma took the time to scrutinize the boy facing him. His eyes were slightly red with tears in the corner, like his own certainly were. His hair was the same mess it always was, maybe the only thing that hadn't changed. He seemed exhausted, almost as if his life had been sucked out of him. His entire visage appeared to be different, it was something in the way he looked at Kenma, the way his eyes had lost their burning light. The way Kuroo gazed at him appeared distressed, worried. His eyes were full of fear and regret. Almost too tired to hope, almost too broken to want.

  "Tetsurō."

  The boy watched Kenma with no discernible emotion. It was seldom that Kenma would call him by his first name, and he had no idea what to await from it. He simply waited holding his breath.

  "I still love you," voiced Kenma, his breath almost losing its way from the back of his throat to the other's ears. His choice of words could seem unusual if not inappropriate, yet, they were the best he could have said. The 'still' was like a hidden promise. As if he was saying, "Despite all we've been through, all I've been put through, I still love you," "No matter how many times you we'll lose sight of each other, we'll find our way back," and also meaning, "I never stopped loving you."

  That was when Kenma understood his inability to express his feelings of discontent towards Kuroo. All the emotions he had bottled up had vanished the moment he had seen Kuroo. All that he needed was to know he was safe, no matter what it meant for him. He was just happy to be able to touch the face he had longed for. Whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, Kenma just could not let go of the object of his desire. Even if Kuroo could not change and kept making the same mistakes, the young setter was bound much too deeply to his lover. He was willing to march through anything put in his path, as long as Kuroo was the one waiting for him  at the end. Love is a beautiful yet painful thing to experience. Its beauty enchants, bewitches—our eyes are unable to look away from the blooming spectacle. However, for it to grow, it feeds on emotions, energy, life. It extends sometimes farther than we expected, and being blinded by its former beauty, it becomes too late to stop it from piercing one's heart. We let it stretch out its roots and its stems. We allow it to rip apart our organs and our skin. We watch it tear our heart with a dismissive, selfless, helpless, loving gaze. And it hurts, but Lord does it feel good too.

  The tall boy seemed to melt at the sound of his partner's words. He brought Kenma's hand to his lips to tenderly kiss his palm and fingers. Staring into the other's golden irises, he murmured, "Thank you."

  Once again, an infinity of meanings were held in two simple words. They had never needed many words to voice their feelings.

  Both closed the space between their chests and remained tangled in one another's arms. Minutes passed and all they did was... breathe. Soaking in the presence of the other, taking time to think, making sure to remember the touch if it was ever ripped away from them again. Just long, quiet, deep breaths.

  Kuroo broke the silence by whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry our parents had to get mad, I'm sorry you had to be alone, I'm sorry I left you again, I'm sorry I keep hurting you."

  Kenma remained buried in his chest. "I'm sorry I doubt you every time, I'm sorry I wasn't brave, I'm sorry we can't be happy."

  Kuroo slid his hands to his boyfriend's cheeks and tilted his head up. "Who said I wasn't happy? Every day I spend with you is blessed with happiness. Even when we aren't together and that everything goes to shit, I'm happy knowing we'll figure something out together. The only thing killing my happiness is when I think you might get tired of me and will eventually leave me," argued the dark haired teen. "What about you, are you not happy?"