I Can't Live Without You (Sequel)

Chapter Seven

  "No, I am," reassured Kenma, "I was just afraid you might not be."

  Kuroo nodded in comprehension.

  "I was also worried you might leave me one day, realizing I wasn't the one for you. I was afraid I was imagining things and going too far. I thought my feelings were unpaired with yours."

  Kuroo watched him silently. He brushed Kenma's hair back. "Did your parents tell you that?" The younger nodded. "I know we tend to value our parents' opinions and we want to abide to their every rule, but sometimes we have to make our own rules and follow our own paths. It's okay to be scared and have doubts. But they can't come from other people's opinions, they have to come from you. Only you and I know what goes on between us. Only you know me how I know you. Therefore only you can judge if I'm the kind of guy to give up on something I desperately want."

  The young setter bobbed his head in reflexion. Reassurance washed over him as his invasive thoughts cleared. He looked into his boyfriend's eyes and said with the utmost sincerity, "I tried—I really did—but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine myself in a world where I wasn't with you, or wasn't able to love you the way I do. So for as long as I can, I will make sure we can get a happy life together."

  Kuroo smiled tenderly and gently pressed his lips on Kenma's forehead. He let out a sigh mixed with a murmur. They remained a while longer in the embrace, surrounded by silence. Slowly, their grip loosened, and they slid away from each other. Kuroo held his lover's hand in his own, softly drawing circles on them with his thumbs.

  With a low rumble, the tall volleyball player spoke out. "Kenma I'm very sorry for what I did," he started, apologizing once more. "I'm not going to make excuses, but I'm still going to tell you what happened over these past few weeks."

  Kenma remained silent and somewhat apprehensive. His boyfriend took a deep sigh.

  "First of all, I was crushed after that fiasco dinner... I was unable to face my parents and couldn't bring myself to dare think about facing you. A cowardly act, I know... After some time thinking, and some friendly advice and motivation, I knew what I had to do. Before I could talk to you, I had to talk to my parents. So I called them in one night to discuss our relationship and our future. They were... unconvinced, to say the least... After a lot of shouting and arguing, we came to an arrangement. They would stay out of my way if after sessions of counseling and seeing a therapist I still felt 'this way'. They told me I would be 'fixed' and this whole story would be put behind us."

  "So you went?" interjected Kenma with concern.

  Kuroo nodded. "They made me spend my days from one office to the other trying to 'help me understand myself, and change for the better'. Naturally any contact with my friends could 'distract me from my route of cleansing', so they took away my phone. That's why I wasn't able to contact you, I'm sorry."

  "It's okay, I understand now..."

  "No, it's not okay, but thank you for understanding," smiled Kuroo. "At some point the counselor and my parents realized nothing was changing and decided to take drastic measures. I was enlisted to conversion therapy... which after a while, led to aversion treatments."

  Kenma could not dare to ask. But the way he looked at Kuroo said it all. Seeing the pain in his lover's eyes compelled the boy not to say anything. He simply squeezed the hand he was holding while trying to take deep, even breaths.

  "After... that... well a month had gone by and my parents weren't getting the results they expected. We reconvened a few days ago about what to do. As they had said, they agreed to let me do what I wanted, however they added they wanted nothing more to do with me..."

  "They didn't," gasped Kenma desperately hoping what he said wasn't true.

  "I don't really know what exactly they did, but they made it clear I was on my own from now on. After that, I finally had my phone back, and after seeing all your missed calls and worried messages, I got scared again. I took some time to clear my head over at Bokuto's. I couldn't handle the thought of seeing our shared space at that moment. As soon as I felt just a little better, I headed over here to slowly get back to my own life. I was surprised to see you here, especially since I initially thought a burglar had broken in. At first I didn't believe it was you, due to your changed style and my overactive imagination. But then... then you know the rest."

  By the end of his story Kuroo was crying. Kenma felt so emotional after hearing such a somber narrative and seeing his boyfriend in such a state. He circled his arms around the tall guy and embraced him tightly while tears flooded his face.

  "I'm s—"

  Kuroo cut Kenma off by pressing his index over the younger's lips. "Don't be. I'm not sorry for the decision I made. I am happy with my choice, especially since it's you, my happiness. And I'll never be sorry for picking my happiness over any crap anyone could say to me," he said confidently, his beautiful smirk reappearing on his handsome features. What Kuroo had said before about being cowardly seemed like nonsense to Kenma, his lover was definitely the most courageous and brave person to ever walk the earth. Not everyone can give up on some huge part of their life to make place for a new, uncertain thing, and be confident about it nonetheless. It was truly something worth being impressed, and the younger made sure to be inspired by it.

  Kenma was happy to see that smug smile again. He kissed it in order to print it on his own lips. The boys wiped their cheeks and brushed the hair out of their faces. Kuroo laid back on the pillows and pulled Kenma with him. He wrapped his heavy arm around the small setter's shoulders. They nuzzled closely and stared at each other.

  "Now that I talked to my parents, talked to you, we made up, and confirmed our goals, it's time we discuss things with your parents," stated Kuroo. Kenma was about to respond but the dark haired boy cut him off. "But before we do that, let's get some sleep."

  He lowered his voice, "I missed having you in my arms while falling asleep."

  Kenma couldn't agree more. He nodded and pecked his boyfriend's chin. They pulled the covers up and wiggled into a comfortable position. Kenma laid on Kuroo's arm which curled over the younger's head. Kuroo was on his back while the setter was on his side, one arm resting on the other's chest. And just like they did so many nights before, they gently drifted off to a blissful slumber. They were in such a state of exhaustion that even sleeping on rocks seemed comfortable, so leaving their jeans on was not much of a bother to them. With most of their worries cleared, they were able to sink into their pillows with ease and finally have a much deserved good night's sleep.

***

Haha oops took longer than I thought...
Sorry lost time and motivation along the way!