DV Series: decoding the boys (under revision) ??

56 | always

I went to the shower, donned comfortable clothes, and applied make-up on my face to conceal the bags forming under my eyes. I looked like shit. My classmates would have a feast seeing me.

I sighed and went back down after my morning rituals. Papasok na rin sa school sina Kuya Jacob at Kuya Andrei. They were walking to the parking space.

I rushed and grabbed Kuya Jacob's wrist. "Kuya," tawag ko. "Mag-usap naman tayo, please."

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I should leave him alone and let him bounce back from his cave when he's cooled off. But I couldn't practice what I preach. I couldn't sit still, knowing I'd hurt him.

As expected, Kuya Jacob shrugged me away none too roughly, almost pushing me off my feet.

"Jacob, ano ba!" rinig kong warning ni Kuya Andrei sa gilid. Lumapit siya at tinulak sa balikat si Kuya Jacob. "Watch it, man. She's still a girl."

Hindi 'yon ininda ni Kuya Jacob. He glared at the two of us before he stormed off and climbed into his Ferrari.

Kuya Andrei walked toward me, wearing an apologetic smile.

"You alright?"

I nodded. "I deserved that."

"No, he's being an ass. Tara, sa 'kin ka na sumabay." He went to his car and revved the engine to life.

Mechanically, I followed him into his car and we were off in the road in no time.

Aaminin ko. Natutuwa ako na nasa side ko si Kuya Andrei. I thought he'd be one of the boys who would get mad at me for lying but he was true to his character. He remained thoughtful and cool throughout the whole ordeal.

Kung wala siya ay hindi ko na alam kung paano ako ngayon. His supportive presence lifted my spirits just a little.

Classes sped by like a movie on fast forward. I went through the motions like a robot, barely listening, barely interacting with anyone.

Now the numbness set in. Wala na akong maramdaman. Mabilis na dumaraan sa isip ko ang mga pagkakataon na pwede ko namang sabihin kay Kuya ang lahat pero pinalampas ko.

If I had told him before when I had a chance, ganito pa rin kaya ang mangyayari?

Yes, my mind echoed, he'd still be mad.

I tried to come up with plans on how I can win him back but nothing came to mind. Wala. Hindi ko alam. Ngayon lang kami nag-away ng ganito at hindi ko sigurado kung paano sisimulang ayusin ang nasira naming relasyon.

"Okay! Anong meron?" Anjo said after dismissal during early dinner. "I can't stand this anymore. Javee, whats up?"

I looked up to see everybody else staring at me, concern riddling their expressions.

I opened my mouth to say something but no words would come out.

"Isa lang ang naiisip kong rason para mamugto ang mata mo nang ganyan. Break na kayo?"

I shook my head, fiddling with my steak.

"E 'di ano?" Anjo looked confused.

Ahron was scrutinizing me with her knowing eyes. Maxxie and Hiromi were exchanging worried glances.

"Si Jacob ba? Alam na niya?"

I darted to Lhyle who had a pensive look on his face. How did he know?

I cast my head low and nodded.

"Oh, shit!" Anjo exclaimed. "For real?"

"Pano mo nalaman?" tinanong ko si Lhyle. "Sinabi niya sa 'yo?"