keep it up ? joshler ?

17

tyler didn't respond, he only fiddled with his shaky fingers.

"but go on, write your little song, we'll take care of josh later for you. i wouldn't want to fall asleep anytime soon if i were you."

the judge took his seat across from tyler, sitting on the rim of the kitchen sink, while blurryface stood to the side.

tyler put his ukulele down. "i'm gonna go try to use another cigarette-"

"leave now and your dream will be ten times worse." blurry threatened him, crossing his arms.

tyler froze. he already wasn't looking forward to the dream he was going to have later, but he certainly didn't want it to get worse.

"there, there." blurry said, a grin present on his face once again. "come sit back across from us. write your song, we want to see what you can come up with."

with a slow hand, tyler tried to keep it as steady as he could, reaching over and hesitantly lifting the instrument again.

"there we go." the judge smirked. "go ahead, we're not even here."

tyler tried blinking back the tears he knew were bound to appear soon as his nose began to burn, and luckily, they never came. he just appeared as a sniffling mess of emotions and a broken heart.

"t-think things are after me, my c-catastrophe..."

tyler's eyes scanned the room and fell on the judge. a perfect replica of josh, besides all the replenished features. tanned skin, good posture, muscle on his arms, able to carry himself proudly. it wasn't josh, and he will never be josh.

it was why tyler called him the judge and not 'fake- josh'. he was the one who decided what tyler believed, the one to make the decisions.

for example, tyler didn't want to believe josh was only using him, yet blurryface was the one to put the idea in his head. tyler resisted at first, but then the judge appeared, and made a ruling.

tyler was convinced josh hated him.

he realized this, of course, but nothing could stop it. he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to think of it, and yet he did anyway. because of those two.

the dreams didn't help either, constantly horrifying him to the point where something he didn't want to sleep, and josh would question him on why there were bags under his eyes.

"why don't you ask yourself the same question?" tyler would always answer, annoyed.

his fingers continued to strum, now creating a rhythm to carry out the unfinished lyrics.

his eyes shifted one again to the judge, sitting there on his sink like nothing was wrong. the judge was happy he made tyler feel this way. the judge was proud of himself. tyler didn't even want to use the sink anymore.

"at my kitchen sink."

"what?" blurry interrupted, confused.

"you don't know what that means, because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me, okay?"

tyler sang, words going along with the chords that his fingers strummed, yet something was missing on the end. he would fill that in later, if he ever even had the nerve to finish, revisit, or write down the song.

"those are dumb lyrics." blurry said, lowering his eyebrows.

tyler stayed silent, ignoring him, hoping that the judge wouldn't make him believe it.

"are you searching for purpose? then write something,"

"tyler, stop, it's worthless, this thing will never be a good song. not one good enough for josh to listen to." blurry cut in again, making tyler scowl.