keep it up ? joshler ?

17

"yeah it might be worthless, then paint something then, it might be wordless-"

"what would be the point then if it's worthless? or are you talking about yourself?"

tyler ignored him again, strumming faster and singing on, trying his best to block out blurry, the constant voice in his head, and the boy standing in his kitchen. "pointless curses, nonsense verses, you'll see purpose start to surface-"

"you're really still continuing, huh? you really think this song is something besides terrible?"

tyler closed his eyes shut now, turning his head to he faced the ground. "no one else is dealing with your demons meaning maybe defeating them could be the beginning of your meaning, fr-"

"dear god, tyler, i was convinced this song couldn't get any worse. nobody else has demons, you idiot, you're a fucking weird ass person who can't function alone without nearly killing himself and who can't gain a single friend besides one who is only there to get you out of the pits you dug yourself. it's sad, what are-"

"leave me alone." tyler said, not singing anymore. he subconsciously continued playing the ukulele to fit with his words, but he blocked that out of his mind. he was beginning to get mad.

"what?"

"leave me alone."

"we already explained that, we're not going anywhere. you really are stubborn, aren't you-"

"leave me alone."

"tyler?"

"leave me alone."

"tyler!"

"leave me alone."

two hands were placed on the boy's shoulders, which then began to shake, the person trying to get him out of the weird delusional trance he was in.

tyler dropped his ukulele to the ground without noticing. in his vision, he didn't even see the person, but instead was yelling at blurryface and the judge.

"leave me alone."

"tyler, snap out of it!"

"leave me alone."

"josh, should we take him somewhere? back to the-"

"no, no, not there. no way. tyler, come on, please!" josh yelled, still shaking the boy's shoulders as tyler repeated the line over and over, his eyes glossy and unfocusing, like josh wasn't standing in front of him.

"leave me alone."

"tyler, look, you wanted to meet my friends, right? this is brendon, see?"

"leave me alone."

tyler's eyes welled with tears, and they finally began to flow down his cheeks.

brendon was unsure of what to do, his best friend was on the kitchen floor, trying to bring a sobbing tyler out of his own mind. he found his way to a nearby barstool, sitting on it with worried eyes and a horrified expression.

"leave me alone."

"tyler!" josh called out with as much strength as he could, but upon seeing as this failed again, laid tyler on the tiles and stood up, trying to think of what to do.

"brendon," josh asked, turning to his friend, "when ryan would go to his therapist, when he couldn't snap out of his own head, what happened? what did the doctor do? please?"

brendon gulped at the name, then, very reluctantly, began sorting through memories. "he... he- um, i..."

"brendon, please..." josh was basically begging.

inside tyler's head was a storm, yelling and screaming and the faint buzzing sound drilling into his head.

"you're pathetic! a waste of space! a waste of a human life!" blurry yelled, face growing almost red as his hat.

"then finish it! finish this 'waste of a life', i don't care anymore!" tyler cried, he hadn't even noticed he was being laid down on the floor.

"you're the one who has to do it, tyler, so why not? i know you want to, but instead you're here! pulling this shit!"

tyler began to full on cry, tears leaking onto the floor. "for..."

"for who, huh? josh? the one who you just kicked out? the one who's using you?"

"that doesn't matter anymore, i love him, leave me alone!"

"he's just gonna leave you! like ryan did. or, i guess, you can be the ryan in this situation. except, your death-"

blurry was cut short by tyler jumping to his feet in anger of blurry speaking his name then hurling his ukulele at him. it would have hit him perfectly in the face, but instead went through him, tyler forgetting blurry only lived in his head.

"tyler!" josh called out as brendon continued to riffle through memories, "why did you do that? are you okay? wha- what happened?"

josh, for the first time, was scared. he was worried, terrified, heartbroken, confused, happy, proud, alienated, and vulnerable around tyler before, but never was he scared of what could become of him.

tyler said, once again, "leave me alone..." before clutching the sides of his head and sliding down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees and muttering the phrase on repeat.

josh walked over to the sink and looked at the broken instrument. it was wrecked. pieces of wood were everywhere... there was no chance of saving it.

josh turned to look at brendon, whose eyes were closed as his hands were on his temples, and he finally spoke. "he calmed everything..." he said, taking deep breaths in between words. "didn't yell, didn't shout, didn't even touch him. just spoke. that's it."

josh looked at tyler, who was still muttering, "leave me alone..." and took a deep breath.

josh crouched down to try and look at tyler's face, but all he could see were the dark lines under the boy's eyes and how puffy they were from crying.

taking tyler's hands in his, for it only felt appropriate, josh breathed in before, in the calmest voice he could muster, saying,

"tyler, please."

and then, to josh's surprise, tyler was silent. he looked his position on the floor, the pale hands that were intertwined in his, then up into josh's eyes.

"don't leave me alone."

tyler said, his voice so normal like nothing was wrong that it was somewhat scary, but before josh could let out a sigh of relief and hug him, all color in tyler's face was drained as he passed out.