keep it up ? joshler ?

20

"do you," josh said at last to tyler's relief, "maybe want to play mario kart now?"

tyler didn't say anything at first, he only let out a sigh, staring at his fingers which had somehow began to shake again.

something in the air was different.

"ty?"

the brunette gulped, a sudden wave of something had washed over him, but he didn't know what. he didn't want to move, he didn't want to speak, and the awkwardness was gone. he just wanted to stay in the moment with josh. he bit his lip tightly; so tightly, in fact, that it almost began to bleed.

"tyler? you okay?"

tyler wasn't in another blurryface hallucination, nor did he feel bad, he just gazed at josh in sudden awe.

tyler's fingers shook more as he thought about what was happening. the answer was right in front of him, he just couldn't see it. it was like having a word on the tip of one's tongue, but not being able to say it aloud. his eyes flickered from josh's worried expression to the dinosaur carpet the two were standing on.

"tyler? tyler?!" josh said, stepping in front of the boy and taking his trembling hands in his. "it's not him, right? you're okay? right?"

tyler looked up at josh, his best friend, the one person determined to help him when he was at his worst, and smiled. it was josh; his josh.

tyler rubbed his thumbs on the back of josh's palms in small swirls, then slowly leaned forward, resting his forehead on josh's chest. the action surprised josh, who smiled slightly.

"it's not him," tyler breathed. "it's... it's you, josh."

he pulled his head up, looking into josh's eyes one more time, before kissing him.

josh's eyes widened; he hadn't been a part of a real romance in quite a long time. he didn't need it, he knew it wouldn't work. however, now that he had it, he wondered how he ever lived without it. he kissed the small boy back with alacrity.

tyler's invisible wall was broken, he had found the word on the tip of his tongue, as josh unlaced their fingers, pulling tyler into a hug.

"tyler,"

"yeah?"

"i, kinda, well," josh furrowed his eyebrows.

tyler smiled, shaking his head while looking down at their feet.

"i get it, josh. me too."

the two stood there, tyler's head leaning on josh's shoulder, the childlike innocence of the room surrounding them.

"want to play mario kart?"

---

tyler laughed, shoving josh as he attempted to speed up.

"you know that mumbling 'go go go go go,' isn't gonna make you go faster, right?" josh asked, laughter in his voice.

"that doesn't stop me," tyler responded, not tearing his eyes away from the screen.

"please, ty, i'm in first place. i know all the secrets to get these old remotes to actually work."

"i'll repeat, won't stop me,"

"sure about that?"

"no!"

tyler jumped to his feet as he watched josh's small pink car cross the finish line in record time.

"how's that even possible?" tyler questioned, still smiling despite being ultimately defeated.

"because i'm magic."

"sure you are."

"it's true, man."

tyler laughed and raised an eyebrow. "prove it."

"i will then, i've got my hogwarts letter upstairs and everything."

"really, then? what house are you even in?"

josh smiled, "gryffindor."

"pfft. ravenclaws rule." tyler retorted, leaning in closer to the boy with ravenclaws colored hair.

"yeah, but harry potter himself was a gryffindor." josh stated triumphantly.

tyler rolled his eyes, chuckling. "wow, you really know how to ruin a moment, don't you?"

"what moment were you talking about, then?" josh almost laughed, squinting his eyes and inching closer to tyler, finally getting the hint.

tyler leaned in incredibly close to josh's face, to the point where he could feel the boy's breath on his neck. "this one."

josh smiled, pressing his lips to tyler's again. although it had only been an hour, it had felt like they were together for years. everything just felt normal, like it was all supposed to happen months ago.

"guys, really, go upstairs or something. i want to watch a movie."

the two pulled apart, tyler's face flooding red as abby walked down the stairs holding a bowl of popcorn. josh only groaned, taking tyler's hand.

"go watch it somewhere else then,"

"can't, the only roku is down here. now get out."

rolling his eyes, josh stood up, his knees cracking under the sudden pressure. "we should probably get going anyway."

"alright, just tell mom, okay? and come home more often. you're much happier."

"i'll try,"

"you'd better." she smiled.

tyler followed josh up the stairs again as he said goodbye, everyone giving him hugs and telling him goodbye as if they weren't going to see him again for a long time. tyler simply assumed it was how normal families said goodbye and went along with it.

the sky was dark by the time they actually left, hands intertwined as they walked.