keep it up ? joshler ?

23

he could feel his heart beating and he was well aware of the rise and fall of his chest. there were still tubes connecting him to beeping machines, and the light snores of the other people sleeping in the room.

looking at the foot of his bed, the little moonlight which was being let in the room illuminated the spot just enough for tyler to spot a head of blue hair.

josh was crying. at the foot of tyler's bed. his face was in his hands, and his knees were on the tiled floor.

"j-josh...?" tyler spoke weakly, trying to crane his neck as to get the best view of the boy as possible.

josh looked up. his face was dimly lit, but tyler could tell his boyfriend's eyes were red and puffy from crying. he just looked so broken.

josh stood up and made his way over to tyler, then kneeled down next to where tyler's head lay.

"-josh,"

"tyler," he said, voice almost as cracked and weak as tyler's, "what happened?"

tyler gulped, looking down at his hands, which were freezing cold.

"tyler, please tell me. you had a heart attack. at least tell me how."

"i- i can't-"

"tyler, please,"

"i couldn't do it, josh,"

"couldn't do what?"

"...quit..."

josh let out a sigh, then looked down at his own hands, which were as pale and cold as tyler's thanks to the temperature of the hospital.

tyler began to cry, but couldn't bring himself to wipe the tears from his own face. "i'm sorry, josh, p-please don't,"

he paused again, taking deep and heavy breaths,

"please don't leave me,"

josh raised his hand to tyler's face, using his thumb to wipe away the boy's tears.

"i, before, in the therapist's, i was stupid, okay?"

tyler didn't speak.

"i was dumb. i'd never leave you, tyler."

josh leant down to kiss tyler's forehead, but tyler took josh's hands in his instead.

"promise?"

"tyler-"

"josh, p-promise me you'll never leave, p-please, i'm sorry, i w-won't ever smoke again, b-but plea-" he stuttered between cries.

josh wiped his eyes, "i won't leave you, okay? never. i'll always be with you, even if you can't see me. i promise."

"w-what?"

the blue-haired boy leant down again, this time actually kissing his boyfriend, before pulling away.

"you should rest, ty. it's best."

"josh, are you wearing pajamas?"

"um, sure. i couldn't leave you here alone all night, tyler. i care about you. now really, sleep."

josh took a seat on a visitors bench next to tyler's bed, and it wasn't long until tyler himself was asleep again. sighing sadly, josh stood up again, and walked over to his own hospital bed, the one he had been sleeping in every night for the last three years.

;;

::

(earlier that day)

;;

brendon sighed as he looked out through the window to the main hall of the hospital. "they've got another emergency today. ten. that's gotta be a new record."

the machines brendon was hooked up to beeped lightly in the background as they conversed. brendon had his own room, different than josh who shared his with three other patients.

josh frowned. "think about it. so many people. they all probably have family or friends who care about them. maybe they don't even know yet."

brendon looked at his hands, fiddling with the tubes plugged into his wrists.

"can you imagine how upset i'd be if something happened to tyler and i didn't know about it?" josh mused. "it's probably the not knowing at first that makes it worse. it could be a person's last moment of happiness and they wouldn't even know it."

as brendon watched the gurney get wheeled past the glass doors, he furrowed his eyebrows.

that person looked familiar.

brendon shakily stood up from his bed.

"josh, i'm.. i'm not fast enough. you have to follow that gurney. i think you know him."

"what? i don't have many friends outside of the hospital, who could it possibly be?"

brendon pursed his lips and looked down.

"it's.. it's.."

josh looked confused. "c'mon, bren. i can take it. tell me."

brendon sighed. "i.. i think it was tyler."

josh's eyes widened. that was all brendon noticed before josh basically sprinted out of the room, nurses calling after him to stop. but josh didn't care, he didn't want to stop. he wanted to get to tyler.