Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 52: The Real Tyler

"Your not used to this."
"Not really."
"Which Tyler do you like better?"
"This Tyler."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"I can be other Tyler if you want."
"No I like this Tyler. This is the real Tyler."
I nodded.
"Do you want to keep talking or have you had enough?"
"Talk. I want to talk."
"Okay.... I know it's different for you because I'm very different personality wise right now then what your used to."
"It's okay."
"... Hey Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"..I still want to do stuff with you.."
"Stuff?"
I rolled my eyes.
"I still want you to fuck me up the ass."
His eyes widened.
"Is that more clear?"
He nodded still looking shocked.
I sighed.
I'm just going to be fake Tyler because He's not used to me yet.
"I... I uh.. I mean.. Um.."
"It's okay Joshie."
"Okay."
"Are you okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."
".... Tyler."
"Josh."
"I said I'm fine with the real you."
I sighed.
"Yeah but you looked uncomfortable."
"I just wasn't expecting it."
"Okay.... But seriously are you okay? I mean I did cut your arm open."
"Yeah I'm okay."
"Oh."
"You sound disappointed."
"I mean.. Well yeah kinda."
"...oh..."
"Anyway getting back on topic. I would really enjoy it if you were to."
"To?"
"Have sex with me... Would you want to?"
"Oh okay uh.. Real Tyler is a lot more blunt then fake Tyler, noted."
"Yeah."
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"I would want to."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Cool."
He nodded.
"Did you really think I didn't know what sex was?"
"Yeah." he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I want to get to know you."
"You know me though?"
"No. I know a version of you. I want to know you."
"Well what do you want to know."
"I don't know.... Does your parents know about this side of you?"
"No."
"Do they know about your other shows or whatever you call them?"
"No.. Your the only one I've told about the past ones."
"Do you like animals?"
"Yes."
"Would you ever hurt an animal?"
".... I'd rather not answer."
"Okay...Do you still want to travel the world?"
"I don't know maybe."
"Do you still want a kid?"
"I could never be a father."
"Why not?"
"Well you know..  I'm me so like..  Not really the ideal father figure."
"Right."
"Can we do something?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh my god do I have to spell everything out for you?"
"Huh?.. "
"I'm horny Josh."
"Oh......"
I sighed.
"Never mind."
"No I uh.. Um... Well we can't really do anything."
"Why?"
"Because Dr. James is literally in the next room."
"I don't care I'll do something."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Prove it."
"Okay."
I reached into my pants and slowly started moving my hand.
I threw my head back.
"Mmm."
"Fuck."
I opened one of my eyes to see Josh watching intensely.
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Hm?"
I smirked.

(I'm cringey so I'm skipping til he finishes.)

Josh stared at me in disbelief.
I licked the substance off my fingers and sent him a wink.
He cleared his throat.
"Uh.. Well then."
"Remember when you explained to me what cum was because you thought I didn't know what it was?"
"Yes."
"And now here I am licking it off my fingers."
He nodded.
I laughed.
"Well you are definitely not as innocent as I thought baby boy."
"Baby boy?"
"I mean um.."
I laughed again.

If I'm honest the only reason I'm not trying to hurt Josh right now is because he said he loved me and he meant it.
I miss his lips.
My mood shifted.
I felt sad.
Thinking back on everything me and Josh have done together.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah just.... Are we still dating?"
"I mean if you still want to yeah."
"Good."
I quickly sat up and kissed him
My hand that Didn't have the bandage on it was on his neck deepening the kiss.
I slowly pulled away and bit my lip.
He smirked.
"Yep that happened."
I said plopping back down on the bed.
I looked up at him.
"What was that for?"
I shrugged.
"You know Josh... You do make me happy. Not just fake Tyler but me too."
"I do?"
"Yeah."
He smiled gently.
I then remember Dr. Varrence.
Where is she?
"Hey Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"Where's Dr. Varrence?"
"Um.. I think she went home for the day."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah."
"I would have killed her."
"What?"
"Dr. Varrence. If she didn't text Dr. James then she would dead. I wouldn't have stopped."
"Oh..."
"Does that scare you?"
"A little."
"Wanna know something?"
"Um.. Sure."
"You don't need to be scared."
"Why not?"
"I'm not going to hurt you... Anymore... Well I'm gonna try not to."
"Why?"
"Just because."
"Just because?"
"Okay Josh if you don't stop with all the questions I'm gonna have to hurt you. Just accept it."
"Oh I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
He nodded.
I could tell He's still scared of me.
Maybe he should be.
I would be if I were him.
Lets calm him down a bit.

I crawled off the bed and sat on his lap.
"Oh. Uh okay hi."
"Shh."
"Oh okay."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Close your eyes."
He nodded and closed them.
I then hugged him.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked down at me. I looked back up at him.
"I'm still Tyler. Just a little different."
I said softly straighting back up.
He smiled.
"I'm the real Tyler."