Sherlock Imagines and Preferences

One Last Time

''How could I possibly just accept that?!'' He yelled. I briefly closed my eyes, my head pounding because of his loudness. He sank back into his chair. ''I'm sorry,'' He muttered. ''What did they say?'' I asked, referring to the medical team Mycroft had gathered for me. He sighed deeply before replying. ''Your body is giving up on you. The only way of keeping you around a little longer is attaching all kinds of machines to you, which take over the work of your organs. However, if you do that, you cannot leave the hospital for as long as you live.'' I closed my eyes again, feeling tears well up in them. ''No,'' I decided. ''Sherlock, please, you have—'' 

''I SAID NO!'' I shouted, eyes raging fire as I turned my gaze to him. ''I don't want to die, Mycroft. Not here.'' He was quiet for a moment, obviously trying to figure out a way to convince me otherwise. He quickly realised changing my mind would be simply impossible and he gave up. He let his head hang down as he nodded. ''As you wish, brother mine.'' He got up and made his way to the door. ''I'll sign the papers while you get ready.''

After a painful thirty minutes of trying to get dressed by myself, Mycroft finally returned, having signed the release papers. I was finally free. Silently, he helped me stand up and began guiding me to a wheelchair. I pulled my arm away from his grip, nearly stumbling to the floor. ''I'll walk,'' I stated. Mycroft nodded in response. ''Brother dear?'' He called as my fingers wrapped themselves around the doorknob. I paused, turning to him. ''Give her my love,'' He said, trying his best to form a smile with his lips as his eyes watered. I nodded, sincerely smiling back. ''Goodbye, Mycroft,'' I said. He wiped his eyes. ''Goodbye, brother mine.'' 

I turned around, twisting the doorknob and exiting the room. I left behind all the sadness, fear, pain and regret. I loved my brother, of course, I did, but there was something else I had to do. A thing that I had always wanted to say, but never did because I was too afraid. I had been a coward all my life and I realised that on my final day, I should speak the words I had dreaded for so long to the woman I loved. It was time to confess everything that I had been hiding from her ever since we met. It was an act of selfishness, but it was something I just had to do. If I were to die before I would ever be able to tell her, that would be the biggest mistake I'd ever make. It was late, but late is better than never. I had to tell her how I felt, I had to see the woman of my dreams one last time before I would be taken away from this godforsaken place. The pain in my chest told me I didn't have long, so I mustered up all my willpower and strength and hurried out of the hospital that was my prison for a very long time. I was now a free man, dying but free. I could go wherever I wanted to, do whatever I pleased and no one would hold me back. This was my last day on Earth and I wanted nothing more than to spend it entirely with her.

***

The cab came to a sudden stop, sending me flying across the backseat. Pain erupted in my chest and a groan of agony escaped my chapped lips. ''Sorry, mate,'' The cabbie apologised. ''No worries,'' I hissed sarcastically. I threw the money at him and stumbled out of the vehicle. The pain ceased as I took a few deep breaths, forcing it to go away. I wasn't going to allow my heart to stop. Not before I told her how I felt. 

As the cab sped off, I slowly made my way to the front door. I hadn't seen or heard from her in months and I wasn't completely sure if she still lived here, but it was worth a shot. My hand pounded on the wood several times before going limp beside me. My limbs began to shake as I anxiously waited for the door to open. This was it. The moment I had been dreaming about ever since I laid eyes on her beauty. 

The fear of rejection melted away completely as finally, the door opened to reveal the woman who had been haunting my thoughts for so long. A smile spread on her lips as she stared at me with widened eyes. ''Sherlock?'' She exclaimed. ''Hi, (Y/N),'' I said, copying her grin. ''I can't believe my eyes! It's been so long!'' (Y/N) launched forwards and wrapped her arms around my neck. I chuckled as I returned the favour and held onto her waist tightly. I kissed the top of her head and kept her as close to me as possible. I relished in the all too familiar scent of her shampoo and in the warmth of her embrace. The moment overwhelmed me and thinking became an impossible task. Only a sting in my chest managed to snap me back into reality. 

I quickly pushed her away from me and clutched my shirt as I breathed heavily. ''Sherlock?'' She said, worry seeping into her words. ''Are you alright? What's wrong?'' My vision blurred due to tears forming in my eyes and the pain increased. I stumbled forwards and she caught me before my head hit the pavement. ''Sherlock?!'' She yelled, panicking. I gasped for air as I fought to get the words out. ''I- I...'' She placed my head into her lap and gently stroked my hair, trying her best to calm me and my aching body. ''Ssh, don't speak. It's okay, it's okay,'' She soothed. ''No,'' I gulped, my grip on my chest tightening. ''I- I have t-to say it before i-it's too late,'' I managed to say. ''What are you talking about? Sherlock, what's happening to you?!'' Tears began rolling down her cheeks, instantly triggering my own as I kept gasping for air through the blinding pain my heart was causing. ''That's it! I'm calling the hospital!'' With my hand, I stopped her from moving. She looked at me, fear in her eyes. ''No, please, stay here,'' I begged. ''What's going on?'' She sobbed, holding me tightly against her stomach. Oxygen filled my lungs as I took a deep breath, allowing me to speak properly. I ignored the pain as much as I could and instead focussed on her. She was the only thing that mattered now.

I raised my hand and cupped her cheek, stroking it with my thumb. ''I've been an idiot, (Y/N),'' I said, forcing a smile on my face. ''It took a heart condition for me to finally acknowledge how I truly feel, but I guess better late than never.'' I took another deep breath, feeling my eyelids droop ever so slightly. ''Listen to me, (N/N). Since the day I—'' A groan escaped my lips and I clenched my jaw, trying to block out the strong pain for just a little longer. ''Sherlock,'' She sobbed, desperately trying to hold onto me. 

I managed to catch my breath and I immediately continued my speech, ''Since the day I met you, I've been in love with you. You are the smartest, kindest and most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. My biggest regret is not telling you sooner, my Darling, but I love you. I love you so, so much and I had to let you know before my time was up.'' A smile formed on her face as she continued to sob loudly. ''Sherlock, you're an idiot.'' A chuckle escaped my lips. ''I know, but I'm your idiot and I always have been.''

I tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears and dried her cheeks. ''You should've told me sooner,'' She sniffed. ''I know. It was the biggest mistake I ever made and I'm sorry.'' She smiled sadly. ''Better late than never,'' She agreed. ''I love you, too, Sherlock Holmes. Always have and always will.'' She started crying again. ''I wish I had more time with you.'' I gently shushed her. ''I know. I do, too, but unfortunately, that is not a wish I can grant.'' She nodded in understanding. ''C-Could I at least make one final memory with you in it?'' She asked, forcing herself to stop crying. I nodded. She smiled before slowly leaning down. My grip on her hair tightened as I felt another sting. She realised what was going on and wasted no time to smash her lips against mine. My mind went blank at her intoxicating touch and for a moment, all the pain and fear of dying disappeared. The only thing I could feel or hear was her. Like magic, she made my muscles relax into her touch and I felt at peace. My tight grip on her beautiful (H/C) hair loosened and my hand fell to the floor. She didn't break the kiss for a single second. It was her way of being with me, but not having to see me die. I didn't complain and kissed her back with as much passion I could summon. 

She filled my thoughts with love and calmness as I slowly began to slip away. I felt my heartbeat slow down and all my muscles relaxed completely. I went limp in her arms and she tightened her grip on me as she held back her inevitable tears. I couldn't think of a better way to die than in the arms of the woman I loved most. After months of struggling with a limiting condition, I was finally able to just let go. I wasn't scared anymore and I would never be again for her touch would forever keep me safe.

Out of breath, she pulled away from the kiss. She gasped for air as tears began to flow. I had no energy left to open my eyes and simply allowed myself to fall into a deep sleep as I felt and heard her presence around me. My lips curled upwards into a peaceful smile. I felt everything wash away from me and I didn't care anymore. I was at peace and that all because of her.

Oh, (Y/N), my sweet (Y/N); thank you.