The Cheerleader And The Nerd

Chapter 18

Who else? Who already knew of my situation? 

It was then that I actually came to realize... I honestly didn't have many friends. 

Sure I knew people. People who are good for a quick chat, people good to party with, people good to help you out in tough spot... but not many friends who'd have my back no matter what. Who wouldn't judge me and someone I could just pour my heart out to without fearing it leaking out to everyone. 

And that's when a traitor tear fell down the side of my face and landed on the covers. I swiped roughly at my cheek, furious for letting even a single tear escape. 

No, I never cried. I mean I hadn't cried in almost 10 years, and I really didn't wanna start now. What was the big deal anyway? So I kissed Jay? So I ran away? It wasn't something to cry over, god dammit! My hormones seem out of whack tonight. They're on a crazy rollercoaster ride and we've just hit a loop. 

I crawled back into the bed and curled up into a ball, hugging my knees as I blinked rapidly, keeping those stupid tears at bay. 

Alone. 

That's how I felt. Even in a huge mansion-like house, I felt more alone than I ever had. I felt trapped and caged in. I wanted to scream, cry, anything but my pride wouldn't let me shed a single tear, not utter a single sound. 

I miss you, Mom. 

I silently cried as another tear fell. I honestly did. I missed her so much it hurt to even think of her sometimes. I tried to avoid talking about her, and believe me it was hard. I tried acting like it didn't affect when it really did. So, so much. 

I miss you so much, Mommy. I really wish you were here. 

I wanted to be 5 years old again. In a world where my mom would cuddle me in my bed and sing me a lullaby to sleep. Where my dad would ruffle my hair as soon as he got back from work, where he'd sit me in his lap and call me his best girl, where he'd just notice me again and not pretend I don't exist. 

I tried remembering my mom in my memories but there were only a few rare ones that I could actually remember now, after 13 or more years. Those too, I had to hold on to dearly. 

I remember one where mom, had taken me to my first ballet class. Dad had come along as well though he only stood at the sidelines at first.

''There's my big girl! Look at you babe, 4 years old and already at your first ballet class!'' Mom beamed, giving me a big grin. I gave her a toothy one back. My first tooth had just fallen a few days ago, and too say I was very proud would be an understatement. 

''I don't wanna dance alone Mommy, dance with me'' I urged her, lightly tugging at the end of her long dress. Mom was a great dancer. She was the one who taught me everything I knew, from the Cha Cha Slide to the Moonwalk by Michael Jackson. Though I wouldn't admit it, I was a bit nervous. The big girls looked mean, and I wanted my Mommy to stay with me. 

Mom laughed; her voice like a musical tinkle. ''What do you want to do, babe? Name it, and we'll do it.'' 

My mom wasn't afraid of anybody. If she wanted to dance, she danced. If she wanted to sing, she'd sing. Whether the place is our house, the grocery store or my ballet class, she did what she wanted and didn't care what others thought. Daddy said that was what made him fall for mommy in the first place though I don't understand why he would want to 'fall' for mommy. I mean why fall, wouldn't it hurt if you fell on the ground? 

Mom said not to worry about that and that I'd understand when I was older. I wonder if I will. 

''How 'bout the Macarena?'' I asked. I knew all the steps to that perfectly. 

''You heard our little girl, honey, play the Macarena for us?'' Mom asked Daddy, who gave us a thumbs up before tapping something on his phone and the music started. All the other girls, and Miss Jenkins; my teacher stopped to look at Mom and me. I thrust my arm forward followed by the other as I continued on with the dance. By the second chorus, the whole class was joining us as we shook our hips and belt out, 'Hey Macarena!' 

''There you go babe!'' she encouraged me, as we did the routine. I giggled once and lost my footing, and went almost crashing down if Mom hadn't had caught me; I probably would've fallen down.  

''Woah, there Rileybear, careful, you don't wanna injure yourself.'' Mom said, as she steadied me. Dad too rushed over and bent down on his knees to make sure I was alright. 

''W-what does i-in...jure mean?'' I asked curiously as Daddy picked me up and placed me on his hip. 

''To hurt yourself,'' Daddy answered, as he ruffled my hair playfully. 

''Daddy!'' I whined as I swatted at his arm. 

''What?'' he mocked me. 

''Don't ruin my hair! It took Mom so long to do it,'' I complained, and he chuckled. 

''Is that so?'' 

''Mm hmm, she even put in the sparkly hair pins!'' I exclaimed cheerfully. 

''Aaw my little babe,'' Mom cooed at us, kissing my cheeks with me still perched on Daddy's hip and then gave Daddy a peck on the lips before murmuring, ''And the love of my life.'' 

''Ew, Mom don't kiss Daddy! Boys have cooties!'' I said as I covered my eyes with my little hands. The last thing I remember is them laughing at me and all of us hugging.

And then it goes blank. For the life of me, I can't remember what happens next.  

I tried so hard not to cry but the tears just fell freely. Like a waterfall, they fell in waves down my cheeks. I swiped my hand over my cheeks but more salty tears replaced the ones I washed away. 

I cried for what could have been seconds, minutes or hours. I didn't know. All I knew was that I was hurting. Everywhere hurt. It hurt to think too much, it hurt my chest, where my heart was. It just hurt. 

I wasn't beating myself up about Jayden anymore. That was nothing compared to my mom. My mom is who I missed. And she was gone. Never to come back. And it was just like when I was 5 years old again. Why her? She was an amazing person. I guess it's funny that way huh? How someone can be full of life one day, and the next, they're gone... forever. 

It goes to show just how much we shouldn't take anyone for granted. 

I don't know exactly when I stopped crying, but at some point, I fell asleep. It was a good thing too; I didn't want to keep hurting. It was good to escape into a dreamless sleep that completely cleared my mind for at least some time.

A/N: Okay so emotional chapter! And also a really short one but I wrote most of the rest of the chapter and I didn't wanna put them up together cause it just didn't work. So basically this is just a filler. Besides I'm trying to get a chapter done for my other book as well, so bare with me. I think it was pretty okay and kinda cute, so lemme know what y'all think in the comments section! You know I love hearing from y'all! 

Question; What do you guys think of the singer on the side? His name's Tanner Patrick and I think he's pretty amazing! I just love his eyes, so let me know if I'm not the only one, haha. XD 

Though the last chapter got almost 20 votes, so can I hope for that this time? It's not, I repeat, NOT a requirement but I'd like if I could get that many... *shrugs*  

No long author's note this time so anyway... 

Enjoy! And VOTE !!!!!!!! COMMENT !!!!!!!!!! OR FAN IF YOU REALLLLLLLY REALLLLLLY LIKE !!!!!!!!! =)