STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 47

My body tenses up, my face blushes and I can feel my eyes starting to cloud over. Such a spontaneous expression from her is normal whether it is about loving me or something else. The difference today is that I know what it means that she feels that way towards me... and that I feel that way towards her... and the fact that we both can't help think about it despite the circumstances.

It hits me right in the gut that it hurts so bad.

“We'll talk about it soon, alright?” I tell Zoë as I pull my hand back down, bringing hers with it. I squeeze it lightly on her lap... reassuring her.

Zoë looks at me, analyzingly, and that's when I realize that today is one of those days that she's feeling sensitive... in the sense that she's the softy between the two of us. Despite that though she goes on all four and draws herself to me yet again.

“I'm going to go back now, alright?” Zoë says right after she pressess her lips to mine. “I need to study. I can't believe I slept so much and still fell asleep here.”

“That's you.” I say to her as I grab her white collar and pull her back into me when I feel that fire in my stomach again. I know, I know... but she's doing it on purpose. The way she kisses me is so... damn provoking. I can't put it in another way. “That's you...”

Zoë touches the place I'm grabbing her at and squeezes my hand. Before I can kiss her, she reacts quickly and pulls away. “Did you understand what I just said? What's up with you today?”

I glance at her eyes but her expression is not exactly a mad one, it's a joking one. That's how I know she isn't minding. And it's not like she usually minds since she's the one who normally is in my position.

That is why I can sense it. How emotionally weak she's feeling. It's similar to last week, when we had her sister's thing on top of us... I guess she hasn't fully recovered from it. I knew that already... but I can almost be sure that whatever is happening right now with us is also making her feel this way.

I felt my body leave the chair and my arms push her back down on my bed. I ignored Zoë's attempt to stop me as I felt my mind go blank. I wasn't aware of anything but the person under me. I want to... I want her to feel and understand that I'm here... Even if she knows that right now, even if she knows it already, it's not enough. I don't feel like its enough.

When I drag my lips onto her neck I feel Zoë's hands go weak on my shoulders and, after a second, they run down to my hips pulling me closer to her. The warmness that everything radiates is already making me crazy.

–

It's a lucky thing that my mom gets here later than expected. It gave me time to say goodbye to Zoë. Goodbye without discussing anything... but I guess that's not what we wanted at the moment.

I check myself in the mirror, making sure that I don't look as if I have just had sex. I take off my clothes and get into a warm shower. It's better to be safe than nothing for now. I don't think my mom knows that me and Zoë are going out, and even if she does, I don't want to face the awkwardness of a knowing face when she sees me. Sex or not, it would still be awkward... considering how she's not exactly the most reserved person out there. I certainly don't wish her to point anything out.

Oh God... but that back there... is it okay for me to admit that it was amazing? I don't what's up with me lately but I've been taking hold of the situation more often. Today was probably the furthest I've gone to being the dominant one between us... It's not like Zoë doesn't fight it... it's just that this time she didn't much so I guess that having her moan in my mouth was simply a thing to melt for... On the other hand, everything that I know I learned it from her.