STATIC (LGBT)

Chapter 47

I frown when I notice how I´ve heard that phrase come from Zoë more often than from her. “It's something about the IMT.”

“IMT?” She says looking at her phone and finally putting it away in her pocket. Apparently, mentioning the Institute is important enough for her to start paying attention to me...

“Yes. The IMT.” I say feeling myself getting frustrated already. “The director JUST recently told me about what you had been planning. Setting me up for a program.”

“A program?” My mom says cocking her head slightly to the side showing that she's thinking back. “Right. Teaching you to be more of an extrovert in your field. Yes, what about it?”

More extrovert. Sure.

“Why did I not have any idea about it?” I asked her.

“Alex.” My mom said using a hard tone now, almost as if I were already starting to do something wrong. “First explain to me why are you trying to come up with this now. I thought you knew, first of all. And, also, it's not like there hasn't been any progress.”

“Progress? Progress at what?” But I knew what she meant.

“You actually dare to play in public and socialize with the kids in your orchestra. I think that's great enough.” My mom says that last part as if she's incredibly relieved that I'm not the person who I used to be anymore... which sort of makes me angry me for a reason. “I know what you wanted a scholarship... and even if you haven't applied yet you can still start in Spring. Although that depends on where you want to go.”

… So she´s telling me the same thing as everyone else. That they thought I knew. That I'm now more out of 'my shell'. That I can now get the scholarship I wanted.

It's true that I wanted the scholarship. It was because I didn't want to depend on my parents for college money. It's a way of independence that I've been looking for... but I had totally forgot about it knowing that I wanted to apply later. It wasn't as important as they make it seem... I mean, my mom has just admitted that she took action for my life. It's the same thing as manipulating me. The total opposite of what I want.

“Why did you agree on the program without asking me first?”

My mom stared into my eyes for a little longer as she tried to analyze my thought process. Probably she was noticing how much I was thinking in front of her – something I usually deny doing and, instead, head to my room.

“Is something wrong?” She asks again. “I don´t understand. I honestly believed that the IMT teachers had informed you. I was told by the director that you approved of it. So I gave my consent.”

Are you kidding me? I don´t understand why these people have assumed things!

“Look, if there´s a problem just tell me now.” My mom said acting as if this had nothing to do with her. As if she´s just a third party acting in all of this.

“I was offered to go to France this summer.” I tell her. I finally look down, knowing what is coming next. What I refuse think...

“Go to France? You should!” My mom says with a thrilled voice. “We should talk about it, definitely. Going there is definitely a great opportunity. I'm betting they´re taking you to the International IMT. I guess the program did work much better than we thought.”

“Mom.” I say lifting my eyes back up to hers. “It´s to finish the program. Plus I don't want to go.”

“Not want to go?” My mom says, then pauses and processes everything that I have just said. “Wait. Finish? Did it stop or something?”