Like Who I Used To Be [Matsuda x Fem!Reader]

Anxious to Follow, Hesitant to Lead

His lips curved downward and he sighed, chopsticks poking at his food.

Aizawa saw some reason to trust him with this. He had to at least try, right? But where to begin? Well, maybe learning a bit about each other could help. Then she might not be so nervous.

Quickly he abandoned his meal, rushing to get a paper and a pen to jot down some ideas that had begun to come to him. If he was going to do this, he'd do it right! Maybe he could actually look forward to tomorrow!

___

It was still early when [Y/N] arrived at work the next day. Blinking blearily, she scanned the office with her tired [E/C] gaze, thinking she had to be among the first there. She had better be, seeing as she had gotten up far earlier than she typically liked. Morning person had never been a term one would use to discribe the young officer.

In her mind, as she set her alarm the night before, arriving before the others would show Matsuda that she was serious. After all, the early bird caught the worm! 

"Worms should sleep in..."  She grumbled with an air of misery, plodding to her desk and draping a shoulder bag across the back. 

"You aren't usually here this early, [L/N]-san," Ide's voice sounded from behind her as he entered the room with a steaming cup of coffee whose label proclaimed it to be from an actual shop as opposed to the break room.

Offering a feeble smile to the man she had become most comfortable with over her brief time there, [Y/N] answered easily, "I wanted to get here before Matsuda-san...He has a bad impression, I want him to know I'm serious..."

"Hmm..." Ide settled in at his desk, thinking about her words. Around Mogi and even Aizawa she was still having trouble expressing herself. He had definitely noticed it was worst when she spoke to Matsuda though, "I wouldnt worry to much about it...Matsuda's..."

"Intense? Ummm...Intimidating, very serious?" The eyebrowless man blinked in wonder at the words she chose to cut him off with. None of them would have been his first choices. [Y/N] sighed, slumping, "Ide-san, he hates me...I always do or say the wrong thing..."

"First, he doesn't hate you," Her senior officer reassured her, "He's had to deal with tough things on the force...we all have. It was hardest for him...and I think you remind him of himself, to be honest..."

"Me?" She blinked a few times in rapid succession, "But...I'm a mess! Trip can't straight! Confidence, Phpthb!"

In her chaotic attempt to process how on earth the man she viewed as a cool and collected cop had once been like her, she began to relapse into her garbled speech and sound effects, including a raspberry blown at the end. She was utterly humilated when that was the exact moment he new mentor chose to step into the view from the door that led to the coffee room. Her eyes locked with Matsuda's as he froze upon hearing her spluttering.

[Y/N] saw the uncertainty on Matsuda's face as he tried to decide if he was going to be able to pull off his mentoring assignment. Misreading the meaning as unwillingness to have to deal with her foolishness, she darted a pleading gaze to Ide.

"Umm...sorry, I didn't get that one...I need a translation..." He muttered awkwardly, aware that he wouldn't get it because now Matsuda was there. Lowering his voice, he leaned forward, "Just trust me, and calm down. Matsuda used to be a real idiot...uh, he still is, actually...just a cynical idiot."