Not What it Seems

Chapter Nineteen

"It was alright. Dad, I have to ask you. What are you doing here?" He sighed heavily.

"I wanted to make things right with our family, but clearly, that wont be happening anytime soon."

"Things are too far broken to be fixed," I reminded him, and he shook his head.

"I'm so sorry I left you," he whispered, his eyes shining. I tensed.

"I want to say it's okay, Dad, but you know it isn't. Mom wasn't stable before, and you certainly knew she wasn't able to take care of me alone."

"Jane, I'm so sorry." A tear rolled down his cheek, and I wondered, briefly, whether forgiveness was always something to earn, or something you could pay off in the future. If I forgave my my Dad, would he prove to me in the future that I was right to bestow my kindness upon him?

~Cash~

"Alright!" Chris yelled, and we all stopped scrimmaging. "Huddle up!"

"Next year," Chris said when we were all gathered, "Cash is gonna be your captain." Everyone looked at me and pride swelled within me.

"Even if I'm not here, y'all are going to kill it, alright? Give it your all, and let Cash lead you to another state championship!" We all hollered and cheered, and Chris grinned.

"Alright! Hit the showers, losers!"

The rest of the team ran off towards the locker room, and Chris fell into step with me.

"Cash, what's on your mind?" he asked and I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You're distracted, I can tell," he said, wiping his face with the hem of his shirt. "Is it a girl?"

I stiffened, and realized how much I did, in fact, think about Jane while I was on the field. Was I really so distracted?

"Uhh, not exactly, I mean -"

"You just gotta ask her out, bro. Just put it out there, babe I like you, and it'll be a smooth ride from there," he said, holding the door open for me. I frowned, heading to my locker.

"No, I mean, it's not a girl I'm crushing on it's -"

"Oh-hoh!" Chris called. "It's a girlfriend problem! Cash, I didn't know you had a girl, bro!" I groaned.

"Wait!" Danny cried, I indignantly. "You have a girlfriend and you didn't tell us? We're your teammates!"

"No, I know, she's not really my - " I started, and then stopped, knowing it was a lie.

"Cat got your tongue?" Wilson smirked and I growled, low in my throat.

"Shut up, I don't want to talk about it," I said, and they all ooh-ed and ahh-ed.

"A secret girlfriend," Wilson laughed. "What, is she like, a whore or something?"

And then, I snapped. I flung out of my seat and my fist slammed into his jaw, both of us flying into the lockers.

"Don't talk about her like that," I growled and his knee connected with my gut as he tackled me to the floor. Chris ran to us, grappling to get us apart. He shoved me against the locker, getting in my face.

"We don't hit teammates," Chris snapped, "No matter how much they piss us off, you gotta learn that if you want to lead this team next year."

He let me go and shook his head.

"Clear out," he said, and I grabbed my stuff, angrily pushing out of the locker room.

~Jane~

Dad sighed, handing me a gummy shark.

"You used to love these when you were a kid," he said, smiling. "Each night I'd get you a bag on my way home from work."

I smiled gently at him. "I remember, Dad."

"Jane, please forgive me, I ruined our family," he wailed, and something within me shifted, gave way for a surge of kindness.

"Dad, you didn't single handedly tear us apart. Mom played a role too," I consoled and he shook his head, picking at a gummy.

"I should have taken you with me. I should never have left you here. Look at this! Your mother is never home! I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

I tentatively put my arms around him in a hug.

"I'm going to find her," he announced, pulling back. "She is going to regret all this awful behavior!"

He stormed from the house, and I doubted he knew where he was going, but I guess his sheer determination counted for something.

I sank into the sofa, sighing and shutting my eyes for just a moment before I heard a knock at the door.

I groaned, crossing the hallway to swing the door open. I thought it was Dad, coming back to excuse his halfhearted attempt to change things, but it wasn't. I felt my heart squeeze when I looked onto the porch.

"What the hell happened?"