Fated to not die - Death Note FF [Reader choose what happens next]

Chapter 28

'I...I could have saved him...I knew so much...' You realized. 'If only that idiot contacted me!' You felt tears appearing in your eyes and swallowed to keep them in. You told yourself that it wasn't your fault, that Hideki has died. There was no way you could have been able to contact him. You were still shocked and didn't know what you could possibly say or how you needed to act. The four detectives were in front of you and this was just annoying you. What you needed now was to take a moment for yourself and be alone somewhere. But was it the right thing to just run away or leave them there? Just when you joined them? They also experienced the same feelings as you, or maybe even worse. Hideki was their teammate for soo long, longer than he knew you. You took a deep breath to cool down the shock, that overcame your body. This sudden message shocked you to a point that you didn't feel sadness. But that was a good thing. Starting to cry in front of them would have been awkward. 'They still believe that I met Hideki just twice. Crying over someone I barely knew would show them that I'm weak.' You realized, but your hands couldn't stop shaking. Even after his death, Hideki kept breaking your self-control.

"I...I need a moment..." You brought out in a quiet voice. Without looking at any of the detectives, you passed them and let yourself fall on one of the couches, that was not facing the detectives. You just sat on the couch and stared at nothing. Your mind was a thoughtless mess. You didn't pay any attention to the detectives. You needed time to truly understand the situation. 'Hideki... gone...' you thought and noticed yourself starring at your shaking hands. '...Just like that...' you took a deep breath without looking away from your hands. 'One thing. It was always one thing about me that reveals my real feelings.' You thought and hated showing any weakness.

Now you weren't confused anymore.

You weren't shocked, but mad.

Very very mad, that your only friend was taken away from you by Kira. You hated him more than ever. Even though he saved your life one time, he took the life of an innocent person. And if you were right, then this person, who killed Hideki was Light Yagami, who called you pretending to be the person he killed. 'Bastard!!! I'll make you pay for everything.' you thought furious and sniveled. All of a sudden you felt the urge to let all the tears out and weep freely. You tried hard not to cry. You didn't want to show that you were weak. You wanted to be strong. Learn from Hideki and his mistakes and be stronger than him to catch the worlds greatest murderer.

"Hey..." A person interrupted your thoughts and sat down next to you. You turned to the left to look into Matsuda's face. "Here, I brought you a coffee." He said softly as he handed it over to you. "Thank you." You said as you took it. Matsuda was not as mature as the others, you realized from seeing him only today. He was soft-hearted and it seemed like he still had a long way in front of him. If he wasn't careful enough, he would be ending up like Hideki. You looked at Matsuda and hoped that Kira wouldn't kill every single member of the task force. Who was next on Kira's list? You asked yourself and a question popped up in your mind: "Why Hideki?" you asked Matsuda. When he only looked at you without saying anything you explained your question. "Why did Kira kill specifically Hideki?" "Because he was Kira's worst enemy!" Matsuda said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You were just confused. "What? I thought L was Kira's worst enemy." You gave him a confused facial expression. "Oh.." Matsuda realized and you waited. "You didn't know that Hideki was, in fact, L-" As soon as you realized what you just heard, you started laughing. You just burst out laughing in a loud voice. Tears were escaping your eyes and you just couldn't control your laughter nor your tears.

Was all that real?

What did he just said?

"You mean L was meeting me the whole time and I had no idea?" You rhetorically asked him and couldn't help but laugh at this irony. Your head was spinning and you felt dizzy.