DV Series: decoding the boys (under revision) ??

67 | come & go

Pero hinayaan ko na lang din. I guessed that was that. Maybe I'd learn to understand Angelo someday. Or maybe not. Mahirap din kasi talagang intindihin ang pagiging unpredictable niya. He wouldn't be Angelo if he wasn't like this after all. It's what made him special all along. Pero in fairness ha. Hindi na talaga ako tinigilan ng ginawa niyang 'yon. What he said was constantly nagging at the back of my mind, whispering, niggling, making me extra cautious and attentive to everything around me. Pero I wasn't finding fault in Racel ha. 'Di naman sa gano'n. Parang masyado lang akong naging alert sa mga kinikilos niya.

Like this Christmas celebration, for instance. We decided to celebrate it on the 24th nang kaming dalawa lang. Nagpunta kami sa The Farm at San Benito para ma-enjoy namin ang quietude ng lugar and mas makapag-focus kami sa isa't isa without the pressing distractions of the metro life. Okay naman siya all throughout-well, almost, kasi nung umaga nasa 'kin lang ang attention niya but by the time evening came, iniwan niya ako para sumagot ng tawag. And mind you. It was a long call. From his parents daw so I let it be but thanks to Angelo, ginugulo ako ng isip ko at napaparanoid ako kung totoo bang magulang niya ang kausap niya.

I know. I was being unfair and unreasonable here. Racel didn't do anything to warrant any suspicion from me. Kasalanan talaga 'to nung sinabi ni Angelo. At saka, wala naman signs si Racel na pinaparamdam sa 'kin para bigyan ko ng malisya ang bawat tawag sa kanya o maghinala ako sa mga kinikilos niya. In fact, sa buong araw namin dito sa The Farm, ang intimate niya sa 'kin. He opened up his plans for the future after he graduated. He even talked to me about his extended family. Even yung history ng grandparents niya. There was nothing odd in our relationship kaya na-gui-guilty ako na naghinala ako in the first place.

I didn't wanna be that overbearing overly-attached monster girlfriend so I went to the spa to get a massage na lang to clear my head habang may kausap pa siya. I sent a text message to tell him I'd be going para hindi siya magulat na nawala ako.

The massage did in fact help me ease my thoughts. By the time I was done, Racel was waiting for me outside.

"Had fun?" bungad niya with that soft Gutierez half smile plastered on his face while his arms were opening wide to me. Tinitingnan ko pa lang 'yon, nanlalambot na ang mga tuhod ko at inuusig ako lalo ng konsensya ko. How could I frigging doubt this man when he'd always been this honest to me?

"The best!" I beamed, stepping into the safe confines of his embrace.

Naglakad-lakad kami under the stars for a few minutes, soaking up the calming atmosphere of the place and adoring the lushness of the place. Napansin ko during that entire time, naka-turn off na ang phone niya kaya wala nang istorbo. Maybe he was done greeting his parentals kaya gano'n. Thinking that way, I suddenly felt bad for doubting him even for just an infinitesimal moment.

We ate dinner in the restaurant here. Sakto rin na nagdatingan na ang mga Christmas greetings ng mga kaibigan at kaklase ko. I sent my own greetings to the girls, to Lhyle, and the boys. Then I sent a video greeting to my folks as well. I made sure na kasama si Racel sa video message ko para kampante naman sila at alam nilang masaya ako kahit na hindi ko sila kasama this season.

Matapos namin kumain ng dessert, Racel spoke up.

"I forgot to say. I'm going to Camiguin this 28th. I'll spend the New Year there. Wanna come with me?"

"I can't. Uuwi sina Kuya Trav at Kuya Chris n'yan para sama-sama kami sumalubong. Buti nga pinayagan pa ako ng mga 'yon na mag-spend ng Christmas away from them." It was a first, really. A miracle. But I guess that was another sign na sineseryoso nila yung cry for independence ko. "Sorry, baby. Next time?" I smiled apologetically.

He reached for my hand and kissed my knuckles, silently waving my apology away. "Next time then." I loved it when he'd brush his fingers across the back of my hand in that soothing manner. Ang gaan sa pakiramdam. Itong mga little gestures talaga na 'to ang nagustuhan ko sa kanya.