Rolling Dice [sample]

9: Rolling Dice

I don’t need to ask what he means: he thought I was better than to run off after the popular people just because they wanted to be my friends instead of staying to at least say hi to him and Andy.

But the only reply I can come up with is to snap, “Well I guess we can’t all be perfect, can we? Or geniuses at physics.”

“Don’t expect me to do your project for this semester for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” I snap – but I’m not so much angry as I’m hurt by his comment. “I barely scraped a B last year in physics. Sorry I can’t keep up with you AP brainiacs. Sue me.”

“We prefer the term nerds, you know.”

I cast a sideways glance at him through my narrowed eyes, and I’m surprised to find he’s biting back a smile. And even just a hint of his infectiously friendly smile has me let out a laugh; I can’t help it.

“Sure,” I say. “That’s what I mean. Nerds. Gotcha.”

Dwight lets the smile he’s holding back slip onto his face. Then he says, “Are you going to switch classes?”

“I can’t. Looks like you’re stuck with me for the rest of the year.”

“Whoopee.”

He uncaps his pen with his teeth, then, and starts answering the questions from the textbook into his notepad. I look at him for a moment – the freckles, the gangly arms and skinny frame, the kind of curly black hair…

It hadn’t even crossed my mind when I met Dwight that he could be a nerd. I hadn’t wanted to stick a label like that on him. I’d just thought he was a really nice, kind of cute guy. Now he said it though, it seemed so obvious that he was on a different social level to Tiffany, Summer, Kyle, Bryce, all of them. Like he’d just turned on a flashing neon sign over his head.

It had sort of crossed my mind before, talking to Carter, but I hadn’t directly thought, ‘Dwight’s a nerd and I’m becoming a popular kid so I can’t be friends with him.’

Jeez. Spend years with people not wanting to be your friend and then this kind of thing happens.

But I just… I don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to know what to do?

I don’t want to not be friends with Dwight. I like him. And if he gets over being mad at me, I think he’ll like me, too.

And on the other side of it, Tiffany and the rest of the girls seemed really nice, and I could almost – almost – picture myself being friends with them, and the guys too. But that was hard, since it was darn near impossible to envision myself hanging out with the popular kids.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “About earlier, I mean. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything to you. I just… Whatever. I don’t know.”

He’s silent for a moment but then he says, “It’s okay. I get it. New school, you get straight in with the popular crowd… I get it.”

He says it so sympathetically, so understandingly, that I almost believe he really does get it for a minute. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know the half of it.

Dwight carries on, “At least you’re a big enough person to apologize. Just remember though, the higher you climb, the harder the fall.”

I’m silent, because I have no reply to that.

And I have no reply to that because I know it’s true.

Instead, I point at the text book and I say, “What’s Newton’s second law?”

*

I struggle through the rest of the lesson, but I manage to survive it at least. I have a free period on my schedule next, so I figure I can go home. Mom and Dad are still in work, but I think I can find the way by myself. It shouldn’t be too hard…

“What class are you in next?” I ask Dwight, just to make conversation.

“Nothing,” he tells me, shoving his notebook into his over-stuffed messenger bag. “Study period. How about you?”

“Same as you,” I answer.

“Are you staying in school, or going home?”

“I guess I’ll go home, if I can remember the way.”

“If you can remember the way?” he repeats quizzically, with a frown. I hold the door open for him as he leaves the room behind me. “How’d you get here this morning?”

“My dad gave me a ride,” I say. “I’m pretty sure I can remember the way home. It’s not exactly too far to walk, right?”

“Well, no, it’s not,” Dwight says. “Where’re all your friends?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. How am I meant to know where they are?”

“Uh, your cell phone?” he suggests, like it’s totally obvious. And once he says it, it is obvious. Except, you know, I’m not used to using a cell phone for everything, and it didn’t even occur to me earlier in the day to ask for anyone’s number.

“Oh, good point,” I say. “I don’t have anyone’s number though. It doesn’t matter.” I smile impassively. “I’ll just head on home.”

“Hang on,” Dwight says, when I’m two steps away from him. I pause, and turn back to look at him. He fishes his cell out of his back pocket. “I’ll just see if Carter –”

“Madison!” trills a voice, and we both look behind me to see Tiffany and Summer at the end of the corridor, and Summer waves at me.

“Um…”

“It’s fine,” Dwight says. “Go talk to your… friends. I’ll, uh, see you round.”

I start stammering at him that he doesn’t have to go, I’m happy enough talking to him, but he’s already walking off briskly down the hallway, so I’m left gaping, speechless, staring after his retreating back.

“Madison,” calls Summer, and I turn around to see them walking toward me.

I don’t feel much like smiling; Dwight’s sudden departure leaves me feeling confused. And strangely hollow. But I smile at them anyway. “Hi.”

Tiffany nods her head in the direction Dwight just left in. “What were you talking to him for?”

“Dwight? He’s in my physics class.”

She nods and goes, “Mm-hmm,” and she and Summer exchange a glance. But neither of them says anything, so I just smile innocently at them.

“What do you guys have now? I have a free period,” I say then, just to move the conversation on and away from me.

“Free,” they both chorus. Summer adds, “We’re going to the mall, you in?”

“Sure,” I say enthusiastically, not even considering whether I actually want to go to the mall or not. It doesn’t occur to me until after I grin and say ‘sure’ that I only have twenty three dollars in my wallet.

Not that I even really care how much is in my wallet; I won’t buy much at the mall. Maybe a cookie, or a milkshake, since I’m getting kind of hungry now, but I won’t actually buy clothes or anything.

Plus, I’m way too excited that these girls are inviting me to go to the mall with them. It’s like, an actual everyday social activity!

“Cool,” Tiffany says with a smile. “Come on, I’m driving.”

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Yaaay, more of Dwight in this chapter! :) A lot of you guys seem to be pretty big Dwight fans (and I am too, admittedly!) so now I suppose you'll be seeing a lot more of him in physics class ;)

I will probably upload again on Sunday :)