Snakes and Splinters [PUBLISHED]

4

During the six months that followed, Pandora had been helping me make sense of my fragmented memories. She had said that fully understanding what had happened would help me to work out how I coped with it.

With her help, I realised that one of my coping mechanisms was my shy personality and lack of self-confidence. Previously it had been worse, but now I was getting better at holding conversations with customers at work and other students at art school. I thanked Hayley and all the boys for that. So many years without a proper family had made me very closed off and unwilling to trust or commit to anyone. Hayley had always been trying to get me to open up and when Walter came into the picture, I finally started to understand the true the meanings of friendships, and later, romantic relationships.

Recently, Pandora had told me that she herself had also been sexually abused when she was a girl. We'd both shed some tears during that session. Looking at Pandora, I could see that she was very strong and had fully recovered from what she'd endured as a child.

I wanted the same for myself.

Within the time she'd been counselling me, I'd come so far. I no longer felt alone, first of all. Yes, Hayley, Walter, Carlos and Ario knew about my past, and the others may have had an idea about it, but I'd never been able to tell any of them the details like I'd told Pandora. I didn't think they'd be able to handle it and telling at least one person really did make me feel better. It made me feel less disgusting and ashamed. It wasn't my fault, what had happened to me and I wasn't to blame. I'd never said any of those things out loud, but inside I had sometimes thought it...that somehow, I had deserved the treatment my father had given me. I now understood that wasn't true.

Greeting the receptionist on my way in, I sat down in the sitting area and waited for Pandora to come and call me in. As normal, I was a few minutes early. Looking around at the calm environment, I waited patiently until Pandora opened the door to her private room and smiled widely at me. I got up to my feet and made my way over to her.

Pandora Andris was in her early forties and she had a dark, shiny bob haircut that shimmered as much as her polished red nails. She had on a matching red necklace that looked like bright painted pebbles against her tanned skin. Her maturity was only visible through the subtle things like the faint smile lines she had on her face. She was beautiful woman with warm brown eyes, eyes that I could look into with reliance.

"Hey there, Coral," she gave me a hug.

"Hey," I smiled back after pulling away.

"Come on in," she said and I walked inside.

I took a seat on the leather sofa and Pandora sat in her armchair. There was a coffee table in the middle of the room and a box of tissues as well as a plate of biscuits.

"How have you been? Would you like anything to drink?" Pandora asked me as usual.

"I've been good, and yourself? And yes, some tea please," I smiled as I gave her my usual answer.

"Good thing I've already heated the kettle up," she grinned and reached for it on the small table beside her.

Pandora asked me how my week had been whilst she made me a cup of tea and I told her that it had been pretty standard. I was busy these days and I quite liked that. Like every session, everything we discussed was confidential and Pandora wasn't allowed to tell anyone else. She often took a couple notes and had already explained that they were to help her decide the most effective way of helping me.

"And have you had any nightmares or flashbacks?" she looked at me as added a teaspoon of sugar to the tea.

I shook my head, "Not in a while actually."