DV Series: decoding the boys (under revision) ??

74 - All Yours || unedited / unrevised

Parang nakita ko na talaga ang bag na 'to.

"Jan, something wrong?" tanong ni Ahron.

Umiling ako at mabilis na sumagot, "Wala. Nahilo lang ako."

"Okay ka lang?"

I raised my thumb to prove my point. Sa sobrang takot kong marinig nila ang kabog ng dibdib ko, dali-dali akong lumabas ng kwarto.

#

Hindi na rin ako nagtagal doon. Umuwi rin ako kaagad dahil parang masusuka ako sa mga naiisip ko. Hindi ko makalimutan ang mga kinilos ni Angelo no'ng outing namin. He reacted so wildly toward Hiromi-

Damn. Why? I needed to know. The need to quell all the questions was surging within me like a knife.

I felt sick for even thinking that way about one of my bestfriends but I couldn't help but entertain the treacherous voices nagging at me. Paano kung siya? Paano kung sila?

Para akong sasabog sa nararamdaman ko kaya hindi ko na natiis. Kinabukasan, nagpunta ako sa condo ni Hiro nang walang pasabi. It was early morning kaya alam kong nandoon pa siya. She never sleeps in her father's home dahil hindi niya gusto ang paiba-iba nitong mga babae.

"Javee?" gulat niyang tanong nang pagbuksan ako. She was in her work-out wear. Nakapusod ang buhok nito at pinagpapawisan kaya alam kong naistorbo ko ang morning session niya.

"Hey, sorry for dropping by unannounced. I wanted to ask you something." Bago pa siya makasagot, mabilis akong pumasok sa loob ng condo niya.

"Wait-" She tried to stop me from entering but it was too late. Hiromi's flat was spacious but I saw it right away.

Hindi pa man ako tuluyang nakakapasok. Hindi pa man ako tuluyang nagtatagal doon, nakita ko na ang confirmation sa mga katanungan ko because hanging on the stand by her bookshelves was the older version of Centrex's university jacket.

Centaur #4

The very number that could only belong to one person. The very number he gave to me last time. The very number that should only belong to me. It was mine by right. So what the hell was it doing here?

Parang nabuhusan ako ng mainit na tubig. Kasabay no'n ang pagkawasak ng puso ko. Namuo agad ang mga luha ko.

Hiro stiffened from behind me. I didn't need to turn to her to see how mortified she was.

As if it wasn't enough, there was even a picture of the two of them in her bookshelf. Kuha ito sa isang restaurant at parehas na formal ang suot nilang dalawa.

Sumikip ang dibdib ko habang tinitingnan ko 'yon.

Now I understand. Kaya pala naging elusive siya sa amin nang mga nakaraang buwan. Kaya pala hindi na kami iniimbita magpunta sa condo niya. We thought it was because she wasn't ready to expose the love of her life yet.

Tama nga ako.

Ang hindi ko lang in-expect, boyfriend ko pala ang nagugustuhan niya.

Kaya pala.

Kaya pala ganoon na lang ang reaksyon ni Angelo. He knew everything. Oh, my God.

I brought a hand to my mouth, stifling the choking sounds I was producing. Ang sakit. Tangina. Sobrang sakit.

"Javee, let me explain. . ."

I briskly snapped to her, my face growing hotter. "Paano mo ipapaliwanag 'to, sige nga?"

The pain was back. Only stronger this time. I felt as if I was stitched back only to be cut open again. Racel's betrayal was beyond measure. But this? Yung kay Hiromi? Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kinakaya. Paano ko tatanggapin? Para akong papatayin ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.