What I Cannot Say

Part 3- End

Thus, Jihyo's highest score during the anonymous voting session came as little surprise. That was when whatever negative thoughts about her completely dissipated; the trainees realized, by looking at the tally, that Jihyo had gone out of her way to help every single one of them at the expense of her own time and effort- not because she wanted something from them, but because that was the kind of person she was. While there might be some disappointment, discovering that one was not a special person to the girl, it was nothing compared to the collective adoration. That day, everyone knew- Jihyo was undoubtedly the centerpiece of the future girl group, the sister that they all needed, the leader that they could all depend on.

She had always been there, that kindhearted Jihyo. Sometimes too close for comfort, but when TWICE truly needed her, she never failed to show up. Not even once.

Therefore, when that very Jihyo acted nonchalant and distant, those closest to her- Nayeon, Mina, and Sana- knew she was deeply hurt. She was always looking after someone, and that left no time to look after her, not even herself. She had completely forgotten how, and thus when the pain became too great to handle, she turned into a completely different person.

_____

"Jihyo-ah?" Nayeon gingerly knocked on the door. She half-expected a lack of answer and they would have to force it open, but then she heard the person inside shuffling towards where the three of them stood, and Jihyo simply opened it with a pleasant smile.

"Sorry unnie, I had to change. Haven't got time to take off my makeup though." She tugged at her clothing, which was not her nightwear- a plain red long-sleeved shirt and shorts. "So, what is it?" She asked, oblivious to the trio's concern.

As Nayeon was struggling to approach the situation withou scaring the girl off, Jihyo's stomach suddenly let out a grumble. Seizing the opportunity, she took hold of the embarrassed leader's hand.

"Why did you tell us you're not hungry?" Nayeon asked with a pout. She wanted to show that while the question was interrogative, it did not hold any ill intent.

"I don't want to eat." Jihyo answered monotonously, the positive façade long since dropped.

Sana felt it was her turn to try.

"Jihyo-ah... You only skip meals when you're sad. What's wrong?" Asked Sana quietly, knowing they were walking on thin ice. Yet, despite the tentativeness, her inquiry irked Jihyo even more.

"Please Sana, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Just tell us about it Jihyo, we'll help you."

"I'm fine. Really."

"If you would just..."

"I said I'm fine! Why do you keep acting like you know me!?" Jihyo snapped, and immediately regretted it. Her hand flew to her mouth, but what was done was done. Sana was petrified, tears already welling up her eyes. Her arms hung limp at her sides as she stood devastated by the harsh answer.

"I'm... I'm sorry. Please let me be alone for some time..." Jihyo's voice cracked. She slammed the door shut, but it was one second too late- her members already heard the choked sobs that she could no longer hold in.

____

Tzuyu did not come home until nighttime. As the clock struck ten, she appeared at the dorm entrance, looking listless and distressed.

When she reached the common room, she was surprised by the gloomy atmosphere. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were sitting on either side of the couch, looking as if someone just told them their wedding were cancelled. Mina was staring at nowhere in particular, her eyes red and puffy from crying. Jihyo was nowhere to be found.