To leave, afterall, was not the same as being left

Chapter 4

"I promise." He whispers. Louis smiles at that and Harry can't help but smile back because this is what Louis does to him.

Louis grabs onto Harry and leans into him for support as they enter the building. Harry presses the button for the elevator and Louis smiles reaching down to touch his cat who was circling his feet.

"Awh look how small this Lion is!" He says excitedly. Harry shakes his head with a smile and rolls his eyes.

"Lou that's Stripes" he says raising an eyebrow. Louis squints at his cat confused and runs his hands through his hair which causes him to lose balance and Harry holds him tighter.

Louis blue eyes are rimmed with red which only makes the blue look bluer and his hair is now a mess but Harry thinks he looks adorable. The elevator doesn't come down and Harry sighs, now he was going to have to try and get Louis up the stairs.

"C'mon Louis, stairs" he says, leading Louis towards the back of the building. Louis puts his foot on the first step, well tries to but completely misses and Harry grabs him. Louis grips onto Harry's t-shirt and giggles.

"Maybe I'm a bit drunk," he says. "Carry me?" He asks and Harry knows he hasn't really got a choice and he's thankful that Louis is little and he can easily lift him. He let's go of Louis and turns his body. Louis wobbles but gets the idea and jumps onto Harry's back. Harry walks up the stairs a little out of breath when he reaches the top because of the extra weight on his back. He considers putting him down but decides against it seeing as it would be much easier and quicker if he carried him inside. And of course he likes having a cuddly, giggly Louis on his back.

"How come you don't piggy back me all the time?" Louis slurs with a smile.

"One because you have legs, two because it would give me a back ache and three because I can't see you when your behind me.

"Do you need to see me?" Louis asks.

"Definitely" Harry replies, unlocking the door.

"I'm nothing special" Louis whispers. And Harry frowns at his words because he doesn't quite understand why Louis is so insecure, always so insecure. He walks inside, shutting the door behind him before answering.

"You are to me." He breathes out and he feels Louis heart which is pressed against his back, beat faster. Louis doesn't reply and Harry heads towards the bedroom.

"Stop!" Louis suddenly says, making Harry stop where he was.

"Can you....I need......put me down please" he slurs, jumbling up his words.

"Can't you just wait until I've got you to bed?" Harry asks.

"No, right now" Louis insists and Harry releases his legs and Louis slides off Harry's back and onto the floor. His legs instantly turn to jelly and Harry quickly spins round to hold him up.

"It's alright, I got it, I got" Louis says holding his hands up. Harry let's go slightly and Louis wobbles.

"No you haven't," he laughs, gripping onto Louis waist. "Lou, let's go to bed."

Louis shakes his head.

"Listen" he says and Harry does just that. He can hear a song playing very faintly. He must have forgotten to turn the radio off earlier.

"Dance with me?" Louis asks, cocking his head to one side and giving Harry a playful smirk.

"Really? You can barely even stand up!" Harry laughs.

"Please?" Louis says and Harry's resolve is gone the moment the word falls from Louis mouth.

Harry rolls his eyes and let's go of Louis with one arm, still supporting him with the other, and reaches to turn the radio up a little.

Louis reaches up and puts his arms around Harry's neck. Harry's hand stays on Louis waist but the other on rests on the small of his back. They sway to the music, unsteadily and Louis often trips over Harry's feet but Harry's got him, he won't let him fall. Louis suddenly stops and Harry frowns, confused. He lifts Louis up onto the kitchen counter so he's sitting and cant fall over.

Harry stands between Louis legs, facing him.

"Look we're the same height like this" Harry mumbles, cheekily.

"Shut up" Louis smiles. Before his expression changes to something else. He shuts his eyes for a long moment and sways slightly.

"What's wrong?" Harry asks him and tilts Louis chin up to look at his face. Louis looks a little disorientated but shakes his head and looks back at Harry. He looks tired but Happy.

"Bit dizzy" he says leaning forward and resting his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry is taken aback because here in front of him is vulnerable Louis, a Louis he had rarely ever seen before. Another first for him. Harry's hand automatically reaches up and runs through Louis hair. He needs a haircut was his first thought but when Louis starts purring like a kitten Harry's second thought is how attached he is to this boy. After a few minutes like that, he pulls away from Louis and opens the cupboard to his left which contain glasses. He fills one with water and hands it to Louis. Louis sticks out his bottom lip but is too tired to argue. Harry then pops two painkillers out of the packet on the side and puts them in Louis hand. Louis frowns.

"Your going to have a headache, take them" he says as an explanation. Louis does as he's told and once he's finished the glass he already feels like he is more level headed than he was before. He pulls his t-shirt over his head and throws it on the floor and Harry helps him off of the counter.

"Can you help me please?" Louis says pointing towards his jeans. Harry helps him tug them off and Louis is left in his boxers. He shivers and Harry surprises him by picking him up bridal style and carrying him into the bedroom. Harry puts Louis on the bed and undresses until he is in the same state as Louis. He climbs in the sheets and Louis instantly cuddles up to his side. Harry pulls him closer and wraps his arms around him.

"Night Lou." he says kissing the top of Louis head.

"Night Haz." Louis mumbles and then stops for a few seconds. His brain battles his heart. His voice travels through the darkness and then "I love you."

Harry freezes. All his muscles stop and he feels like he is suffocating. He takes a deep breath and looks down at Louis who is now snoring peacefully in his arms. Fear takes over Harry and he doesn't sleep that night.

In the morning he has a headache and he can't decide if it's from what he heard last night or because of the alcohol, either way it adds to his bad mood. All he knows is he has to leave, as quickly as possible. He dresses quickly to a groaning Louis and tells him he needs to go home as he doesn't feel well. It's partly true but Louis must feel 1000 times worse than he did. He says goodbye and Louis barely moves from underneath his duvet where it was dark and didn't hurt his head. Harry is shaking but leaves a note on the kitchen table, with some pills and a bottle of water, before he leaves, which reads:

Take this, drink this and feel better~H xxx

That was his last full day with Louis. That was what scared him into pulling away.

"He told me he loved me." He answers.