Truly, Madly, Deeply- a Devakshi story.

Up in the air!

Dev: smiling finally.." No I actually am staying at a friend's home. In fact someone you know." He slowly said, ' Natasha Gujral", watching her reaction.

Sona frowned and then it struck her and she turned to him wanting to ask something but then kept quiet, biting back her words, as she realised she couldn't really ask him anything, had no right to.

He smiled wryly, " Yes the same Natasha, she and I are good friends now. "

Sona: " She always was a good person."

Dev: " Yes she is. Without a doubt."

Dev:" Anyway, what is the crisis at your clinic?"

Sona, was glad to move away from talks of the past and Dev's women friends, "Purely administrative. I have a set of doctors at the clinic and one of them moved away to Bangalore without notice. So I need to interview someone and make sure the clinic keeps functioning. Anyway since I am here, I will do the clinic too."

Dev: " You do enjoy the work don't you?"

Sona: " Yes I do." She smiled at him. "I love it, simply love it. Dont go by my exhausted condition at the end of the day or my crying spells when I have a bad case. And don't take Maa's complaints too seriously. Every morning I get up, I thank God that I get to do something, however small, for people who are sick."

Dev: " But even Jatin feels you are too involved and it harms the work and you too."

Sona: now launching into the conversation with enthusiasm: " Oh Jatin! He preaches at me because he cares for me. He thinks he can act all bossy with me but the truth is he is a real softie. But Dev, I wish I could make you understand how it feels to be able to reach out to people who are unwell and give them some small bit of relief and hope. It feels almost like God's work. We cannot give them life because that is God's purview, but we can give them hope to fight on. I love my work. I love the research we do. I love working with patients. "

Dev listened to her very carefully, watching her enthusiasm, understanding that this was one of the few times she was unguarded in front of him.

Sona: " When I am able to help someone, when the reports get better, when a patient goes into remission, I can't tell you the high that comes with it. Just watching a patient go back happier than he came in—it gives my life meaning. It makes me feel that I can forget every sadness, every wrong and yet feel at peace." She turned to the air-hostess, accepting the glass of OJ and thoughtfully twirled the glass, clinking the ice cubes, watching them go around and around. " Just like having Soha gives meaning to my life, as if every pain, every effort, is worth it. ." she smiled at the ice cubes. " Yes, it takes the stuffing out of me at times, I hate to hear bad news and lose patients, I get anxious and depressed, but honestly I wouldn't do anything else. This is not a job for me. This is my vocation, my life's work. "

She looked up at him, seriousness in her expression." Dev, I used to know a girl, a classmate, who one day left school and became a nun. We used to see her sometimes, dressed in her shapeless habit, thin and emaciated, her hair chopped off and used to wonder what it felt like, to give up all beauty in your life, never expect to fall in love, never know the excitement, the fun and passion of growing up. But now I remember her differently. Even in her dull grey robe, her face used to shine with some internal peace and beauty. That was because she wasn't doing anything forcefully, the life she chose, was her chosen work, her vocation." She smiled at him," The work that I do, is so much bigger than I am, so much bigger than all the troubles of my life put together, so much more meaningful." She looked away out of the window at the clouds and spoke aloud. "At one point, I had lost all meaning in my life, everything felt worthless, I felt worthless because I had lost value in your life. But just then, fate sent me this work, made me interact with people who were fighting to live one more day. I felt if they thought their life, howsoever bad it was, was worth fighting for, then how could I think my life was meaningless. I got co-opted in this research and my collaboration with Dr Austin started. It kept me sane....................It gave me purpose, made me so busy I had no time to think, took me out of my self............... So don't you bother about what Maa says or Jatin says, they both know I couldn't live without it. Left to himself, Jatin would prescribe me anti-depressants because he thinks I am heading for a breakdown. But believe me he knows how strong i am.  I know how to take care of myself." She smiled at him without artifice and he was forced to respond in kind even though he wasn't convinced that she was as strong as she thought she was.

Sona: " Anyway enough about me and my boring life. Minus Soha and my work, my life is a big zero.  What about you? How has your work been?"

Dev smiled wryly," You know my work, don't you? Balance sheets and Profit & Loss statements. Arbitrages and Mergers & Aquisitions. It always made no sense to you. Nothing as meaningful as your work."............

Sona: " Arre nahin, I am no longer as dumb about finances. It dosent make me feel super-excited, but I understand it somewhat. Tell me what you are doing. You might be surprised at how savvy I am."

She listened intently as he talked to her about his new project and how they were close to finalizing the deal with a Norwegian company. He told her about the cut-throat world of 4G licences and how they were constantly under threat of being poached or acquired. She was far more appreciative of the enormous risks entrepreneurs took and Dev found it surprisingly easy to talk to her.  He hadn't realised she was such a good listener or maybe she had always been a good listener, only he had forgotten it. Whatever the case may be, right now it felt good to talk to someone unrelated to the competitiveness and profit orientation of his own world. It was easy becoming cynical and hard in his world and those were the two things she was not, neither cynical, nor hard. The conversation moved easily from him to her and back and forth, and the hours passed.    

---------- continued in the next part...................................................