Hold Steady ? The Flash

"Rowan Nyx the firefighter?" 

Rowan sighs, her hands clenching. "Yeah."

"You are- amazing! I've heard of all your work!" 

"Not anymore."

Cisco stomps his foot. "Not anymore!? Just because you're a meta now doesn't mean you aren't the same Rowan Nyx!" Barry nods in agreement. 

Rowan decides to ignore them. Especially Dr. Wells. She moves around the lab, looking over all of the equipment. 

It was so different from what Oliver and her had. 

This was a laboratory. Full of scientific tech instead of weapons used to kill and maim people. The people around her had never killed anyone. Rowan knew that. And she knew they would judge her for it. 

The Glade was different than Central City. Starling City was different than Central City. The bad guys they faced couldn't just be captured. Sometimes it was kill or be killed. Oliver and her didn't have time to think of a way to capture them or they would be killed. 

Rowan knew that working with this team would be the hardest thing she's ever done. 

"Well let's run a few tests and see what we're dealing with," Caitlin speaks up, going to her workstation and sorting through her desk. 

Rowan flinches, her mind flashing through memories. Barry noticing her discomfort steps forward to comfort her but Rowan jumps away from him, a knife slipping into her hand. 

Everyone holds their hands up at the sudden appearance of a weapon. Caitlin drops the needle and syringe in her hands, the glass shattering on the floor. At the noise, Rowan snaps out of her memories and lowers the weapon. She looks to her hand in silent wonder, only now realizing she had drawn the weapon from a hidden location. 

She raises her eyes, looking at the startles and scared expressions of the people in the room. "Sorry- if you think the tests will...help" She hesitates in her words, her mind struggling with the notion. 

"Why don't we wait on those tests?" Dr. Wells says, his lips playing at a smirk. 

Caitlin and Cisco nod, instantly turning back to their work and ignoring the intimidating girl.

"I'm sorry." Rowan trails off, looking at Barry with tears pricking at her eyes. 

Barry stays a safe distance away from her, holding his hands up, "Are you okay? What happened?"

Rowan shakes her head, pushing past Barry and going to the desk Caitlin was rummaging through earlier. Caitlin jumps back from the girl, scared of getting to close to her. Rowan finds what she is looking for, startling the occupants of the room when she suddenly stabs herself with a needle, filling a syringe with her blood. 

When she pulls the needle out the metal is red hot. She places the filled syringe on Caitlin's desk. "Run the tests." And then she leaves the lab, without saying goodbye. 

. 

Rowan was ashamed. She had never struggled with things like this before. She was supposed to be strong. People were supposed to look up to her and look to her for protection. Not look for protection because of her. 

She didn't mean to scare Barry's friends. She just couldn't handle what her mind was presented to her at the moment and she reacted negatively. She felt the need to protect herself and by doing that she scared the people who thought highly of her. 

Cisco was particularly fond of the fighter that Rowan was. Emphasis on was. 

Rowan didn't think she deserved that title anymore. 

She didn't even deserve to be a firefighter when she had the very ability to start the thing she was supposed to be fighting. She didn't know if it was worth fighting anymore. 

Cisco, however, didn't believe that for one second. He knew Rowan. He was like Barry in terms of searching for real-life superheroes. And Rowan was just that to him. She was that too many people. 

Rowan had saved countless lives as a firefighter- even more as the Phoenix. So he knew something was wrong with the girl when she left the lab that day. Once Cisco was sure she had left the building he turns to his new friend and hero in the making. 

"What happened to her."

Barry still looking to the exit of the cortex mutters his answer, "I don't know. After the particle accelerator explosion she was in a coma for a week but after that, she went missing for six months. Anything could have happened to her." 

"Six months!?" Caitlin exclaims, having just come back from submitting Rowan's sample to a series of tests. 

"Do you know why?" Dr. Wells asks. He wheels closer to the team, an interested glint in his eyes. 

Barry hesitates. How many times was he going to break the girl's trust? How many times would he hurt her because he couldn't restrain himself from getting close to her? With a heavy heart, he lies to his team, "I don't know. Her friends from Starling City didn't tell me." 

"Maybe we should get in touch with them. Just so we know how to help her better." 

Barry plays along with Dr. Wells. He wouldn't be getting in touch with anyone unless Rowan said it was okay. 

Rowan had taken a huge risk in seeking help from Barry's friends. In the short time that he knew her it was very obvious that she didn't trust easily and to go to him and people she didn't know when she was obviously struggling was very out of character for her. 

Barry wouldn't break her trust again. He wanted to help her. No matter what. 

. 

a/n: 

short and sweet

not edited