Rolling Dice [sample]

14: Rolling Dice

                “I don’t know…” I mumble uncertainly.

                I only say it because what else can I say? Maybe Bryce does actually like me. Maybe he doesn’t, and maybe that’s why he didn’t do any more than kiss me. Or maybe he’s just not that kind of guy. I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.

                “He’s got your number already though,” Melissa says thoughtfully. “He might text you tomorrow. He’s got to at least text you, right? Bryce is too sweet to do that and not talk to you if he really does like you.”

                I just nod, because I don’t know what more to say.

                They seem to register then that I’m not going to be particularly talkative on the subject, because then they start giggling and chatting about the evening. I pitch in occasionally, but mostly I simply just sit there and listen and laugh in the right places.

                I’m kind of distracted though, my mind full of jumbled thoughts; I try and calm my mind down enough to think about this rationally.

                So I kissed Bryce.

                I kissed Bryce.

                I got my first kiss.

                I can’t decide which sounds more exciting – that I finally got my first kiss and even though it wasn’t how I imagined it, it was still amazing. Or am I more excited that I kissed one of the most popular (and definitely the cutest) guy in school, who may be interested in me?

                He’d said he’d been ‘waiting to kiss me all night’, and I hope he wasn’t just saying that.

                But did he like me? As in, like me, like me?

                Oh, man, I’m starting to sound like Jenna…

                What was I supposed to do if he did? What was the protocol for this situation?

                I’d always pictured my first kiss with a guy I was actually dating – he’d ask me out somewhere, at the end of the night he’d kiss me.

                But what was I meant to do now, having kissed a guy I wasn’t actually seeing? He was just some guy who I hung out with at school and who I think I kinda sorta flirted with. I mean… he has a nickname for me, he calls me ‘Mainstream’. But I thought that was just him joking around. I didn’t think he really did actually like me.

                Although if that kiss earlier was anything to go by…

                I shake myself mentally.

                I overthink things way too much. I really need to get a hold of myself.

                “Madison?”

                Hearing my name jerks me out of trying to straighten out all my jumbled thoughts. Summer raises her eyebrows at me, prompting me to answer.

                “Hmm? Sorry,” I add, “I spaced out for a minute there.”

                “Shopping, tomorrow?”

                “Huh?”

                Tiffany laughs. “Keep up, Madison. We’re going to the mall tomorrow. Girls’ day out. You in?”