Anywhere With You ? {J.C.}

||Thirty-Three|Maybe||

"You wanna go to my room?" Harlow chewed on ice, begging Julian with her eyes to say yes. He nodded, standing from the table. Harlow followed his lead—both hadn't even managed to push their chairs back under the table before Frankie spoke again.

"I would contest this, but... it's too late now, huh?" Frankie continued to eat, never once glancing their way as the snide comments continued to pour out. "I told you to be careful, Harlow... I told you."

"I know, Mom... I didn't listen. I never do." Harlow scoffed, thinking Frankie had finally caught onto her and Julian's demise.

"When were you gonna tell me; when your belly got too big to hide?"

Julian's eyes widened—his chest tightened and his stomach began to twist. The food he'd just ingested felt like it was about to come back up.

"What?" Harlow froze—Frankie had overheard them in the bathroom, but she hadn't heard everything.

"Have you thought about support? Who's gonna care for it? Buy it diapers, clothes, car seats and cribs, bassinets-"

"Mom, I'm not pregnant. You can go see the tests yourself, they're in the trashcan next to the toilet." Harlow shoved the chair under the table, grabbing Julian's hand. She marched toward the bedroom, Julian too perplexed to move. She yanked his arm, coaxing him to get the hell out of the kitchen before she said something she couldn't take back.

Her mother had no right—Harlow paid half of everything. If she were pregnant, that was she and Julian's prerogative, not Frankie's. She had a means to leave if she wanted; the only reason she was sticking around was for her own benefit—until she figured out what she wanted to do with her life.

"Jules, come on!" Harlow yelled; Julian staggering back, looking to Frankie sympathetically. He wasn't sure what he was more upset about, the fact that he had almost gotten Harlow pregnant, or the fact that he didn't. There was something about the way Frankie looked at him—that he wasn't good enough to be a father—the father of Harlow's child.

It only made him want it that much more—to prove her wrong.

Harlow slammed the door shut, her breathing erratic and heavy. She locked the door, her jaw clenching angrily as she looked up at Julian. He appeared indifferent, as if what Frankie had just said hadn't affected him at all.

His hand went to her shoulder—his tongue trailing across his lips. "You okay?"

Harlow nodded, but wanted to admit that she wasn't. Frankie had upset her—to have the audacity to think she owed her an explanation if she were pregnant. As if Harlow being pregnant would impact Frankie at all financially—it wouldn't.

"Wanna get outta here?... Go somewhere else?" Julian wanted to—he wanted to get as far away as he could from Frankie's judgments.

Harlow, however, didn't want that. She had to stay, because if she left with Julian, she'd end up wrapped in his cycle again. She was trying to break that—to untangle herself from him and yet, there he was, still lingering. But she could handle it, just for one night.

...Right?

"Where would we go?"

"Anywhere you want." Julian insisted.

"Anywhere with you?" Harlow spoke low, remembering when she had told him that she'd rather be anywhere with him than anywhere else—it was still true.

Julian smiled. "Yeah... anywhere with me."

She thought about it—she thought about leaving and never coming back; she thought about packing a bag and moving in with Julian. But, how long would that last before Julian changed his mind? He was good for that—pulling her in, and pushing her away.

She became lost in his eyes for a moment, taking in his features. She wanted to remember him like this—every line and imperfection that was somehow perfect. His lips touched hers, sending a small wave of what felt like electricity radiating throughout her soft pink flesh. But, Harlow pulled away.

"Please don't." She spoke softly against his chin, turning her head away.

"Why?... You don't want me?"

"That's the problem, Jules... it'll make me want you more."

"What's wrong with that? I want you- I wanna try to make this work. So what if we're doin' other things, we'll make time." Julian was holding Harlow's hands now, keeping her in place before she had a chance to move away any further.

"We can't. We can't... you know."

"Why not?" He was begging now—looking down at her with meshed brows and tired eyes.

"I stopped taking the pill when I thought I was pregnant."

"So? We'll just... I can just... I'll pull out. I promise." He remembered what he had forgot; it was something he didn't bother carrying when he knew he was going to be with Harlow.

She snickered bashfully, pulling her hand out of Julian's to cover her blushed face. "Will you?" Julian was laughing now—his face glowing red from the thought of doing something so risky. She placed her hand on his cheek, moving his face back to hers, making him look at her. "Can you, Jules?... Can you pull out?" Harlow laughed quietly, biting her bottom lip.

"I mean, yeah... I think so." He disclosed begrudgingly. "I don't think I've ever told you this, but... you're the only girl I've ever, you know... came in before. So, I don- I don't know if I can... I've never had to before 'cause... I always use condoms." He laughed, embarrassed by his admission.

"You're lying." Harlow smiled—in a way, she had been his first.

"No... wish I was."

"Can I tell you something?" Julian nodded, pursing his lips as he took Harlow's hand from his face. "You're the only guy I've let... you know, do the same."

"Bullshit." Julian returned the laugh. "What about Alex?"

"I never really trusted Alex. Not enough to do that, anyway."

"But... you trusted me, really?"

"Well, yeah... you're my best friend."

The smile in Julian's eyes faded; his face fell. He should've known from the start that Harlow was going to be different than the others—they were friends. That had even been brought up in the agreement; they were friends first—if it started to feel wrong, they would stop. But, it never felt wrong. Not in the moment, anyway.

He placed his hands at her waist—Harlow wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands glided from her waist to her back, holding her. "I'm gonna miss this... I'm gonna miss you." Harlow mumbled against his shoulder, not ready to let go.

"If that test says that you are... are you gonna let me stay?" Julian squeezed her a little tighter, pulling her further into his chest.

"It won't."

"But, if it does?"

"I don't know... I really don't know. I gotta figure out what I wanna do with my life. I never really wanted to go to Stanford... you helped me realize that. But, I definitely gotta do something. I can't be workin' at Cavern's for the rest of my life. Or waiting on you to change your mind about me. I can't- I can't do that anymore."

"So I'm too late? It's too late to try to change your mind?"

Harlow pulled away, looking up into Julian's eyes. The truth was, she already knew what she wanted—there was no changing her mind about it, she was in love with Julian. But, it wasn't right—the timing was wrong and their aspirations were on different courses. It started to feel wrong; as much as they didn't want to admit it, they were holding each other back.

"I love you, Jules. But this can't work. Not now... anyway."

"Maybe when we're older?"

"Maybe."