Escaping Mr. Devil

Chapter 16.1 -Kirby and Kahi Moment

I don't want to sound hurt pero heck! He hurt me with those freakin words! Alam ko naman sa sarili ko na umasa ako kasi naging masyado akong assuming pero kailangan ba ipagdudulan pa niya sakin yun?!

"I'm sorry." Short but sincere na pagkakasabi ni Kirby.

Oo. Ramdam ko yung sincerity sa boses niya. Pero bakit parang nakaramdam din ako ng pain sa sinabi niya? Nasasaktan din kaya siya?

"Sorry?" I smirked.

This time tumingin na sakin si Kirby and I hate myself for also looking back. In a split second, he got me with those light brown eyes and it got me shaking pero I got every courage I have para paglabanan yun.

"Bakit ganun Kirby? When you said sorry para ako pa yung guilty?" I know I'm shaking cause I'm pissed. "Stop feeling sorry for me. you're not that great at all"

Hindi ko na maiwasang mainis. I'm still looking at Kirby's eyes pero this time, I look at him with anger, bitterness, and pain.

"No Kahi. Sorry kasi I made you feel that way. I'm sorry for shutting you out when I know to myself that all I need is you. I'm sorry for not holding on to you when all I ever wanted was to walk with you."

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Hinahayaan ko lang siya. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sinasabi niya to. At hindi ko alam kung bakit at the back of my mind someone is telling me to stay and listen when all I really wanted was to run and escape from his trap.

"I'm sorry if I made you cry and not turning back and hug you instead. I'm sorry if I hurt you with the most painful words I know when all I really wanted to say is....I like you. I like you Kahi Nicole Sy."

Dug dug..dug dug

dug dug..dug dug

Dug dug.. dug dug

Wala akong ibang marinig kundi yung lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Feeling ko any moment, my heart will explode.

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Parang kusang tumikom yung bibig ko sa sinabi ni Kirby. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong maramdaman. Dapat ba matuwa ako? Siguro kung noon niya sinabi sakin to eh baka nagtatalon na ako sa tuwa. Pero bakit ngayon niya sakin to sinasabi? Anong gusto niyang maramdaman ko?

Gusto kong magalit. Ang unfair kasi! Bakit ngayon pa?! Bakit ngayon lang niya sinasabi lahat ng gusto niyang sabihin dati? Hindi ko lang kasi talaga maintindihan yung intensyon niya at kung bakit niya sinasabi sakin tong mga to!

Hindi pa ako nakakarecover sa sinabi niya, nagsalita ulit siya.

"But that was three years ago" dugtong niya.

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Ewan, pero parang may kurot akong naramdaman sa dibdib ko. Was he trying to hurt me again just like what he did 3 years ago? Kasi kung oo, nagtagumpay siya.

This time, he filled me with every word I wanted to hear from him 3 years ago but he ended it with that one sentence that made me feel again how I felt before... 3 years ago

I suddenly saw myself standing up. Mali ako. Mali na hinayaan ko ulit siyang makalapit at kausapin ako. Kung kanina, I was shaking because of nervousness, now, I'm shaking because of anger.

Hindi padin ako makasagot kasi hindi ko alam kung anong unang sasabihin ko.

Galit ako sa sarili ko dahil hinayaan ko ulit yung sarili ko na pakinggan yung mga sasabihin niya. At galit din ako sakanya dahil hindi ko alam why does he have to hurt me twice.

Shit! Ang sakit! I know I'm different now. Naging mas matapang ako. Pero pakiramdam ko, I just convinced other people that I'm strong but the truth is, I'm still not.