Tyler Joseph x Reader

If It Means A Lot To You

You slammed the journal closed, not caring if the ink smudged. In fact, you hoped it did, that way you wouldn't be forced to face the reality of your situation. Spending months alone battling your anxieties and fears just to have a few months of peace with Tyler just wasn't sustainable. You needed to put yourself first, and sometimes that meant letting go of something you loved.

You picked up your journal and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding smack and fell to the floor. There were only a few months left until the end of the tour, but that was still another three months going to bed alone and wondering just what it was that Tyler was up to. If you could just wait until he got home, then you knew everything would feel ok again and you would be reminded of why you put yourself through this.

But then another tour would begin, and thus the cycle would continue. In a little while, you would find yourself where you were right now: hopeless and alone. Deep down, you knew what had to be done. First, you just had to find the strength to do it.

"Is this really happening?"

You bit down on your trembling lip. Tyler's voice sounded so broken, even through the computer. You hated to do this over FaceTime, but you knew that if you waited for him to get home then you wouldn't have the strength to go through with it.

"I'm sorry, Tyler." You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him.

He sighed and you saw him bury his head in his hands out of the corner of your eye. Your chest hurt, and you were sure that Tyler was feeling the same way. Neither of you wanted to end things, but you knew that it was better for the both of you if you did.

"Are you going to be gone before I'm home?"

"Yes."

Brown boxes stood stacked in the corner of the bedroom, messily marked with their contents. You had been packing for a few weeks, just to make sure that all of your things would be gone before Tyler got home. There was only a month left until the tour was over, and the last few shows were right near your hometown.

"How long have you felt like this?"

"I don't know, a couple months I guess."

"A couple months?" Tyler was clearly shocked. You had hid it well.

"I love you, Tyler, but I can't keep going like this. I have to take care of myself first."

"I understand, but-damn it, Y/N."

"I have to go," you said, not able to stand seeing Tyler like this any longer.

"Ok."

You reached forward and ended the call. As soon as you were sure he couldn't hear you, you let out the sobs that you had been so carefully holding back. The decision had been made, now you had to deal with the consequences.

We knew it would happen eventually.

That's what all of the tweets that were popping up on your timeline essentially boiled down to. There had been countless comments that Tyler had seemed off during the last couple shows. His energy levels weren't the same. He was smiling less. He was tearing up more often.

It hadn't taken much speculation for people to find out that you two were no longer together. The news was all over Twitter, Instagram, basically every social media platform that you were active on. People kept asking Tyler to confirm or deny, but he was staying silent on the subject. People eventually started to do the same to you, but you followed Tyler's lead and ignored it. He was the one under the scrutiny of the media, so he should choose how and when to handle it. You were just a normal person now, by most people's standards, so you didn't have to handle these things publicly.

Tomorrow marked the day that Tyler would have come home, just a few short days before the official end of the tour. You had left the house a week ago, leaving most things in tact. Tyler was the one that had bought most of your possessions, anyway, he deserved to keep them.

You wondered if the people on Twitter were right. Maybe your relationship had been doomed from the beginning.

"Now everybody's singing-"

You turned the TV off before the anchor could even finish his sentence. It was no secret that Tyler and Josh's tour had been a success. They were bigger than ever now and their songs were on the radio constantly, it seemed. You were proud of Tyler, after all, this is what he had always wanted.

You considered reaching out and congratulating him, but ultimately decided against it. The wound of the breakup was still fresh, and talking to him was a slippery slope that you would rather not chance. The breakup had been your decision, and you had to stick by that no matter how much you missed him.

You felt more at peace now than you had when you were with Tyler. There was something freeing about knowing that you weren't waiting around for anybody. Sure, you felt a pang of sadness every now and again when you thought about Tyler. He had made you happier than anyone else had before, but sometimes things just didn't work out.

You wondered if your life would have been different if you hadn't made the last minute decision to go to his show that one night. Things would have certainly been easier, but you knew that meeting Tyler had been an important moment in your life.