LEMONADE|| Keith Powers

Chapter 53: Too Fast (pt. 2)

"Hmm that's a lot, did you talk to her? He asked

"Yeah we got into it and me aint talking to her she just paints me out to be a bad person like I threw so many opportunities in her face. It's crazy" Ricky shook his head

"Well your mom did tell me you're her problem child with women. She told me you treat that girl poorly" he said

"I don't treat her poorly, and first of all my mother aint even there. She don't know what's going on. Yeah, I can work on my attitude but financially she was straight. I even checked her baby father for coming at her side ways when she was in some shit I got her out of there. I didn't have to do half the shit I've done" he said

'You're real defensive about it, did you do all that stuff to make you feel better or to throw it back in her face? Be real" he said

"I did it cuz I give a fuck, I mean a part of it was the keep her around so she could help me on my part" he explained

"So do you feel like she used you? Why are you so upset? The way you talk about her is like she's an employee and usually managers don't care this much" he said

"Well obviously it's not the normal 9-5 situation Craig" Ricky said

He laughed "I think she's done so much for you this far why would she try to use you. Maybe she really needed the money. Women do things to feed their children by any means necessary and you can't be mad at that. Think about it for a second, your mother didn't have anything when she got with your father. Maybe she stayed with him for security and then when you all were born she stayed so ya'll could be financially stable. It's all about perspective, I heard she cares about you why don't you give it a try? He asked

"The only thing I'm worried about is getting out the game. I like her, but she really pissed me off and every time I see her I get pissed all over again" he explained

"Is this really as deep as your making it? You're mad that she was quick on her feet a one-upper" he laughed trying to make light of the situation

"Hell yeah"

"That ego can be something" he said

"Whatever man" Ricky said grabbing his phone

Maybe if you talk to her gently she'll be more responsive but you have to hear her out as well. Trust me Ricky the last thing you want to do is push away people that give a rats ass about you; In this lifestyle you only make it out two ways dead or in jail. And you'll be lucky if you make it out on the other side. If you're lucky enough to make it to the other side you're going to be a lonely man. One day you're gonna look around and you look.. and see that all your relatives, your friends, your family is gone, and your lady is gone and all you have is yourself and that shit is going to hurt like mothafucka. I don't have any friends or family. I took everything and everyone for granted. My son is locked up, my wife moved on and left me a three decades ago because I couldn't get it together. I wanted to be right all the time. It was always my way or the highway, and my daughter died of breast cancer.

Ricky placed his phone down "Damn, sorry for your loss" He said

He sighed "If I would've done things differently I would've. If I had one more day with my daughter I would tell her that she's beautiful and the world's precious gift. I'd tell my ex-wife to forgive me for my toxic ways and I'd tell my son he didn't have to feel pressured to become who I was" he said

"That's... that's deep" Ricky said gaining some respect for him. Unlike Grant Craig held himself accountable for the things he did.

What I'm trying to say is ... a real man is going to hold himself accountable for his actions at all costs... you know and to love and to receive love is to be vulnerable. You can't be afraid of that, the super tough I don't need a hoe for shit act will bite you in the ass every time. Hell, I need a woman. I need a woman to nurture me and to make me feel good. I'm still a man and I aint ashamed of that. You hear me son" he said. Ricky looked at him nodding his head. The both of them heard the door open "That weather is crazy" she walked in with bags. Ricky got up to help her "You're up, are you staying for breakfast I got syrup" she said out of breath.