Safe and Sound

Jongin and Kyungsoo don't get back together when the school year resumes.

Sehun doesn't bother asking why, or rather, he's too scared that Jongin will snap and they'll have an awkward rift again. Jongin always has someone to go to, but Sehun doesn't have anyone to keep him company on lonely days.

Jongin is lounging around in his freaking underwear when Sehun comes home from his morning class – Jongin had planned it so that he wouldn't have to wake up at seven to go to school – and Sehun makes a strangled noise when he spots him. "God, can you put on clothes please? I have eyes that would like to remain pure."

"Hey, it's hot and I don't need to get dressed until my geology class starts."

Sehun makes a weird face and sucks in air through his teeth. "Are you passing?"

"Sehunnie, it's been a week since our third year started. A week! Let me live!" Jongin argues. He flips onto his stomach on the sofa and wiggles his toes in front of the fan. "I don't want to be a nerd like you."

Sehun sticks his tongue out in retaliation as he takes out a pot from under the counter to begin cooking their lunch. "I'm just saying that if, I don't know, we get guests, you're going to open that door in your underwear and scar the entire world," he teases. Sehun is surprised to hear nothing in reply to his words. "Jongin?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

Sehun jumps a few inches off the ground when Jongin appears right behind him. "Holy shit, can you not do that?" He clutches his chest in mock horror, though his heart is beating out of his chest out right now.

But Jongin's brows are furrowed, in deep thought, and his expression is telling Sehun that he isn't joking. "I'm serious."

Sehun rolls his eyes. "Well I can't take you seriously when you're wearing donuts." Sehun gives Jongin's underwear a pointed look. "They have sprinkles."

"Sehun, please."

"Put on clothes and then we'll talk."

All of a sudden, one of Jongin's hands are in his hair, another cupping his cheek gently, and Sehun feels Jongin's lips on his.

Sehun doesn't know when he caught feelings for Jongin.

Maybe it was since Jongin helped him out of the tree in their second year in high school when Sehun had to climb to the top to grab his shoe that a bully that tossed up there for fun. Sehun didn't know he was afraid of heights until then and Jongin had made sure that Sehun never forgot it.

Maybe it was the night Jongin snuck out of his house and climbed through Sehun's window to comfort him after Dad just walked out the front door – and Sehun's life – for good.

Maybe it was since the day Jongin held him close when both Mom and Hyung were pronounced dead from the accident and Sehun couldn't even attend the funeral because of all the injuries he sustained. Jongin had whispered soothing words in Sehun's ear and even let Sehun wipe his face on his shirt.

Maybe it was the time when Sehun had found out Dad died in yet another car accident during third period and Jongin took him out of class and rubbed his back while Sehun threw up in the bathroom because it was all too much to handle.

Maybe it was when Jongin opened up his family for Sehun since he didn't have anyone to come home to for holidays. Jongin's family became his own that summer.

Maybe it was the day he spilled out all his insecurities and burst into tears when he remembered that it's been a year since his family fell apart, and Jongin just kept silent and stroked Sehun's hair until he fell asleep. He had woken up the next day with Jongin's arms wrapped tightly around him and Sehun had cried tears of gratitude.

Sehun doesn't know when he caught feelings for Jongin because Jongin was always there. Maybe he's loved Jongin all along.

All Sehun knew, though, was that Jongin had always moved fast. He breezed through school and – barely – passed with minimal effort. He had girlfriends, some of whose names Sehun doesn't even remember. Jongin made friends so easily, was so sociable, that Sehun felt like he was background noise to Jongin's symphony. In the way that Jongin sped through life, Sehun just couldn't keep up. It was like getting caught in rip currents and being pushed further and further away from shore. Dad abandoning them. Losing Mom and Hyung in the same day. All of those events made Sehun fall so far behind that he feared that one day, he would lose Jongin too.

He prays that this wave will bring him closer to shore and not pull him further away from home.

Jongin doesn't want to admit that Sehun's always been the one.

The confession in February could have easily been something else. Instead of "I like guys," Jongin should have said "I like you." That was the plan, and he chickened out last minute. Kyungsoo wasn't supposed to happen, but he did, and Jongin just realized his feelings all that much faster. He doesn't come to the performing arts department meeting anymore, and Jongin is kind of glad since he wouldn't be able to explain why they fell apart.

Though Jongin supposes, Kyungsoo knows about it all.

Jongin knew that he was gay a really long time ago. He grew up with two sisters who spent so much time on the internet looking up K-pop idols and western actors that Jongin knew everything about his sisters' favorites like they were his own. It wasn't just that, but the fact that Jongin never found girls interesting.

He was ten when he had his first crush on Chanyeol, a kid with too much to say and a loud personality. But he was nice and always helped Jongin do his math homework under the slide. But one day afterschool, Jongin had brought Chanyeol a flower he secretly plucked from his mom's bushes, and Chanyeol's mom slapped it away and told him to stop playing with her son. Jongin didn't understand why until his own mom told him, through his wails in the car ride home, that boys just don't like other boys. It was weird.

Jongin was fourteen when he had his second crush. He was the varsity basketball team's captain. He was quiet and cared a lot about his team. Though Minseok graduated that same year, Jongin realized that his preference for guys wasn't just admiration, but rather actual adoration. Simply put, Jongin liked boys. However, Jongin also learned that his sexual orientation wasn't something that was normal and that he shouldn't be telling people those things unless he wanted to be subject to bullying.

So when he befriended Sehun in his first year of high school, the latter stuck in a tree, Jongin had kept it to himself and found himself a new best friend. He also fell in love along the way.

But Sehun's quiet demeanor and soft-spoken tendencies weren't going to mesh well with Jongin's personality. Jongin held Sehun at an arm's distance, choosing to help Sehun cope with his problems rather than divulging his own. He didn't need another person walking out because he was gay. To help with his charade, he asked girls from the performing arts department out on casual dates every once in a while, making it obvious to Sehun that it was girls he was interested in. It was to keep Sehun as close as he could without binding him to something more than just friendship. However, Kyungsoo helped Jongin see that Sehun didn't care who he liked. In just a few short months, Kyungsoo understood and saw what Jongin had failed to see in six years.

Jongin can't stop himself from loving Sehun because Sehun loves him back. He knows because Sehun returned that kiss.