Returning Red

#32: Drunk & Digs.

But a part of me can't help but feel relieved that she had someone who cared so much about her when I wasn't there. I don't want to feel grateful to him. He kissed her in front of me. Fuck, no. He can care all he wants from a mile away. If he touches her, I'm going to break his neck. 

"She's alright. It's just--We found out about the pills. She had an episode and it was messy--"

Ryder cut her words in between. "She took the pills? Fuck, what happened?" 

"No, we didn't give her the pills, and hence she had a panic attack. But she's been so much better after the episode. She's happy, she's lively, she's back to her old self again. She's not taken the pills since. Or that's what we hope." May fills him in and he carefully listens. 

He sighs, "Maya if it's about the pills, you don't have to worry. She's always in control, I can bet my life on it. She only takes them when something goes terribly wrong. I--I know that." Ryder says and there's silence on both ends. 

I nudge her tilting my head, hinting at her to ask him the main thing. She nods to me. She takes another deep breath. "Ryder, we're not idiots. We know something really big happened in New York. What is it?" 

"Um--" he's blanking out to find excuses. "Uh--I don't know what you're talking about," he knows exactly what she's asking him. 

"Ryder, please," May says and I hate that she's requesting this dumbass. "I'm her best friend, I'm genuinely worried about her. I know you know what happened. You've got to help me out here." 

Ryder sighs again and the silence on his end is longer. "Maya, if Bella wanted you to know anything, she would've told you herself. It's not my story to tell. You shouldn't be talking to me about this. Please don't put me in a position where I'd have to choose between you guys and her. Because as much as I respect your friendship, I will always side with her." Anger boils inside me. "I don't know the rapport you guys share. If you're really that close, why don't you just ask her what you asked me? She'll tell it to you if she wants you to know." 

"Right," May says shrugging at the four of us. 

I hear ruffling and a faint high-pitched voice calls his name. "Listen, I have to go. Congratulations on the wedding." 

He cuts the call and May shoves her phone on the table. She holds her head in both her hands as she stares at the blank screen. I mentally strike out Ryder's name in my head. As I'd assumed, he was of no help. 

"That's out of the window, what else do we have?" Liam says turning to Jason. 

"My team is still looking into her therapist. I'll let you know once they hit me up with something good." Jason says it like it's already a lost cause. 

May shakes her head. "What if we're completely wrong about this? What if we're overthinking all of this when there's actually nothing more than what she admitted to?" 

I scoff. "What did she admit to, as of now?" 

Liam says after he pouts. "The separation is why she started the pills. And when I asked her what happened in New York, she said shit happened." 

May scratches her neck as she sits up straight. "We'd look like the world's most horrible friends if this hunch of ours is completely wrong. We're digging out her life in the last eight years. How toxic must this be looking? If she finds out, she's entitled to be mad at us for the rest of our lives." 

"I don't care," Liam says as he gets up to watch his phone. "I'm not getting married with this worry in my head. We're sorting this out before we walk down that aisle. I want that day to be the most perfect day. I want my family to be perfectly happy."