Cause and Effect

Twenty four

I shook my head and sighed, looking at the floor.

"I don't know," I muttered. "Ever since... ever since the Tottenham game, that was the first time it happened."

"What went through your mind?"

"I can barely remember," I said. "It's just stayed with me, you know? I keep remembering that moment, and then I fail again, just like every time."

"Okay," he nodded, looking at me thoughtfully. "So here's another question for you: do you know how many assists you're on this season?"

I shook my head.

"No."

"Ten," He responded. "Ten! And it's January! Well, nearly February. Even Mesut's only got eight. But when I saw this stat, I went back and looked at your games, look at this."

He jumped up, and turned the screen on that was hanging on the wall. I could see the footage of our game against West Ham from earlier in the season.

"West Ham at home, what was the score here?" He asked.

"3-1 to us, Alexis got one, Ney got a brace."

"And you got two assists," he added. "Look, this is you here, keeper comes out, coulda dinked it over him, but no, what are you doing?"

"I'd seen Alexis," I responded, pointing to him.

"But he's miles away?" Thierry queried, looking at me.

"Yeah? He called for it, look. He's open."

"He's got a defender closing in on him though, look at this, so you played the pass to him, he's sent the defender packing, but now the keeper's had time to get into position, and the shot is saved."

He looked at me, waiting for a reaction, but I said nothing, still digesting the information.

"Okay," he said, when I said nothing, "So then it happens again. Look, here we go, you've got a clean shot on goal, but you pass it Ney and let him do it. But look at his angle and look at yours, sure Neymar can pull it off, but why not take the shot yourself?"

"I guess I just trust them more than myself to put the ball away," I said slowly.

"Nia you need to trust yourself more then," he said. "We saw what happened in the United game, no one was in sight to pass to, you didn't think about the shot, and where did it go?"

"Not in the goal, that's for sure."

"Of course it didn't. Ball probably wound up in Scotland. Instead of thinking about who you can pass to, think about when you will take the shot, and where you will take it from, where the keeper will go, what the ball will do..." he gestured animatedly with his hands. "This is our game plan, if your teammates are passing to you expecting you to shoot, they won't understand your body language when you're trying to get rid of the ball again when you could shoot from where you are."

I nodded, beginning to understand what he was saying.

"This should already be in your mind before you receive the ball - what are you going to do with it?" He continued. "You are maturing as a person, as a player, I know you understand this, I know you can take this on board and work with it or else I wouldn't be telling you. And sometimes you do need to make the pass, but if you're in front of the goal and can see the shot in your head and how the situation will play out, then I want you to go for it."

"Okay," I nodded. "I think I'm getting where this mental block is coming from now."

"Hey, I'm proud of you, you know?" He smiled, patting me on the back. "You've come a long way already, even in just the time that I've been here. And I know that you're dealing with things with Neymar and Alexis that was something I never had to go through as a player with my teammates."