Tempest: The Renegade

Phase 1, part 2

I lower my eyes. "I'm afraid you're too optimistic about me," I say. "I've made my mind. Ryan's death was the last straw. I don't want to fight anymore. I've been thinking about it, but when I imagine I'd have to go through this again... maybe lose even more people I love... I just can't. Forgive me."

A quick glance around. Konstantin and Sotiris look understanding, Svetlana is a bit confused. But Sasha is downright shocked. "Don't say that, girl!" he bursts out. "You're the hero among us! We would be fucked countless time if we didn't have you. And, like, you mean it seriously you don't want to kick Nightingale's ass with these sweet new legs? Give me a break."

"You don't understand!" I shout at him. "I'm done with being a hero, done with fighting, done with this whole goddamn conflict. My mother was tortured to death. My closest friend joined the enemy side and tried to kill me. And my partner, the person I valued the most, the one I was supposed to protect, was executed right before my eyes. I'm not strong enough for this anymore."

Sasha lowers his eyes, understanding he said something he shouldn't.

"I'm sorry that I look like a coward, a rat leaving a sinking ship," I say with a calmer tone, "but in this condition, I wouldn't be any use anyway. To think it all started with one goddamn coincidence. If Ryan decided to hand in the serums just a day earlier..."

"Nothing would change," Konstantin interrupts me. "The timing wasn't a coincidence. There is someone who is responsible for this. Someone who always told Nightingale what are we up to." His eyes suddenly filled with sorrow. "Someone we... I trusted all along."

At that moment, I realize everything makes sense. Valentina always seemed to be one step ahead of us, always had a counter to our every move. There's only one explanation - one of our closest allies had to be secretly on her side all along and inform her about everything we're up to.

Suddenly, there is a strange tension between us. Did one of us betray? I can tell only one thing for sure - I didn't. But I can't imagine either Sotiris, Svetlana or Sasha defecting to Nightingale's army.

However... there was a member of our group who I haven't seen since the battle started. Who's not here with us. Even though it's still hard to believe someone who taught me so many things, who basically made me a fighter I am, would be able to do something like this.

And I can't imagine how hard it certainly is for Konstantin.

For a while, we just sit in silence, all of us hesitant to say the name, like it is some kind of judgment which would condemn that person for good. In the end, I realize it's up to me again. "It's Roxanna, right?" I say with a bleak voice, trying to reconcile with the fact one of my mentors and close friends betrayed us.

Konstantin nods. It takes him a while until he collects his thoughts. Even though I had a close relationship with Scarla, I know that Konstantin and she shared many years, maybe even before I was born. I notice the man's first clenching under the table.

"She has always been... an idealist," he finally speaks. "Even though she loved Neoclash, she also fiercely defended Castaway laws and often talked about the liberation of the Dead Zone. However, I had no idea it can end up like this. But now, when I think about it, it makes perfect sense."

"But she was your friend! How could she do this to you?" Svetlana bursts out and immediately realizes how naive did it sound.

"She was more than a friend," Konstantin admits. "She was almost like my sister. We spent so many years building our training center together. And, as I already told you, I saved her from the trap of alcoholism. It's... kind of hard, coping with the fact that all these years probably mean nothing now. I wonder if she regrets it... or of she sometimes also remembers all the things she abandoned."