Payment (revised)

Chapter 18

The world seemed to still.

"I told you to stay here, to stay safe, and you deliberately disobeyed me. Did you think that decision through? You could've been killed."

Stiles bit his lip to keep the growing anger from pouring out of him in one giant scream. Derek was being daft, and ignorant to the fact that Stiles had just saved Lydia's life. He had proved through his actions how wrong Derek had been to try and keep him home.

"If it wasn't for me deliberately disobeying your orders, Lydia would be dead," Stiles seethed.

The words were a nasty shockwave.

"You were a fool to keep me here when you knew I was the only one who could have found her. You're selfish, and blinded by your own fucking ego. I'm not a child you can control."

That, for obvious reasons, didn't sit well with the Alpha who stalked even closer to Stiles as the waves between them took hold and carried them off to the undertow. It would be nearly impossible to regain footing now.

Stiles knew that, yet he willingly sank further.

"I'm selfish?" Derek snapped, "I'm selfish for wanting to protect you? You don't know what you've gotten yourself into here. You've bitten off more than you can chew, and you don't know it yet but I do. You're rash and make decisions without thinking them through which lead you into situations you can't control. You were unaware and unarmed at those docks, and if I hadn't been close enough to hear you calling you'd be stuck there with a dying girl in your arms and you know it."

Stiles felt something fissure inside him at the blatant way Derek dismissed him, writing him off as another useless boy playing at being a man. The crater inside him only widened as a gush of emotion, he couldn't manage to hold back, burst through.

How could he have let himself get this far?

He thought back on his first few days here, when he was adamant on getting out, adamant on hating the man who had taken him. That man was a monster.

A monster who knew how to get what he wanted, and Stiles had gotten caught up in the middle of it. He had become exactly what he hated.

He had let the man poison his mind and his heart. He had believed Derek when he spoke kind words, and forgave him when he didn't. Wasn't kindness, even a little bit of it, worth the downfall that came after?

Stiles wouldn't let himself be played for a fool any longer.

Before the Alpha could react, Stiles reached for the gun in his back pocket and pointed it in the middle of Derek's head.

The same spot he could remember Allison indicating to with her pointer finger. Stiles had come in her place to fulfill the promise.

There was an intake of breath from the pack as they rushed to disarm Stiles, but Derek stopped them with a wave of his hand.

His eyes weren't on the weapon, but on Stiles. Solely Stiles.

"Tell me I was unfit, unarmed one more time Derek. Tell me again that I'm in over my head and-"

"You won't shoot," Derek stated matter of factly.

Not a moment of fear passed through his unfeeling features, and Stiles inwardly flinched. He hated how a part of him still just wanted to break down in the other man's arms. Hated that Derek was right. Stiles pocketed the gun with an infuriated hiss. With a glare of pure loathing, he prepared to storm away. Stiles knew the entire pack was watching him, but no longer found it in him to care.

"Run away from your problems, Stiles. Just like the child you are."

That was the last straw.

Faster than either of them thought possible, Stiles's rage carried his feet all the way back to Derek.

A stinging slap sounded as skin met skin. The dying echo reverberated throughout the spacious entryway.

The blurred faces of Stiles's friends watched, stunned, around the pair. They were unsure how to react, but the boy only had his sights set on one person. A person who made his heart splinter and crack with every insult he'd slung Stiles's way.

He had trusted Derek. Trusted his heart to him.

Stiles should have known better.

He was dealing with a monster after all.

"You can find somewhere else to sleep tonight because if you come near me you'll see what I can do with a gun," Stiles spat, enraged.

He turned to flee from the man in front of him.

But the Alpha wasn't done, he didn't know how to be the bigger man even if he wanted to. He only knew how to make the hurt so much worse.

"You're payment, Stiles," Derek shouted at his retreating back, "Don't ever forget it."

Tears blurred Stiles's vision but he wouldn't let himself be pushed around, not anymore. Not when everyone he had ever loved broke his trust. His mother died, his father abandoned him, Derek betrayed him.

The boy, for the last time that night, faced the Alpha. He pulled the gun from his pocket, and fired a warning shot into the wall behind Derek.

The bullet cracked as it exited the barrel of the gun, its landing point fractured the plaster in the wall. It mirrored what Stiles thought he must look like on the inside.

"If I'm only payment then why do you care so much?"

No one stopped him as Stiles took the spiral staircase to the second floor.

~~~~~~~~~~

He had to hurry.

He didn't know when Derek would come barging in to yell at him, or worse. Not that it mattered, Stiles wouldn't be around when it happened.

He was quivering with regret and realization at what he had attempted. His father had taught him to shoot a gun, but his aim was nowhere near perfect. If he had been even a little bit off he could have hit Derek, he could have killed Derek.

Even though he was livid with the man, he...he loved him. That's why this hurt so damn badly.

Stiles couldn't be here anymore, he couldn't wallow in the destroyed relationship he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He loved Derek, but love wasn't always enough.

Stiles had to leave.