Broken ?

?I'm Not Strong?

He probably thinks I'm the weakest person alive and I could never survive in this life. It's true. Yet, he doesn't allow me to die.

Maybe he doesn't want that kind of guilt on his conscious, he doesn't want my death to be on his hands. That's the only reason why he is keeping me alive.

He doesn't care about me at all. He is just like all the others. Only pretending to care, just to fool me and humiliate myself.

The worst part is that I've started to care for him, maybe more than I should have. Ever since I met I have felt this connection to him.

Besides, each time his skin comes in contact with mine these sparks fly. It makes me feel good and loved, i makes me feel like he cares for me.

I guess I was wrong about that. Those sparks are just my imagination just like everything else. Somehow it got in my head that he might care for me, it was just my brain messing with me, again.

Damien begins to talk again, but I don't hear it. My mind is just blank. All I can do is stare at the grass when I turn around and shove my back against the wall again.

Yet, even when I know he doesn't care, I still want to believe that one day things will get better and he might like me. I know I have these feelings about him, that I don't understand.

They tell me that I have to be close to him, I have to be with him. 'Cause I care for him. He might not like me but that doesn't mean that I don't like him.

I want him to be all right, I care for his well-being and how he is doing. All 'cause I care about him and this doesn't chance my feeling for him, only my view point of him.

Once I used to think of him as some sort of savior, not my guardian angel. That title belongs to the black wolf with the green eyes.

But, Damien is the one who has been taking care of me, he's there with me when I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be all right again.

Is it so wrong of me to still want that? For once in my life I just want the pain in my life to end or at least be silent for one day.

I would like to know what it feels like to have a life without the agony of being alive or the guilt for all I've done.

I have truly forgotten what it feels like to be happy and is it crazy to think that I want to be happy and have happiness in my life?

A loud ear-piercing scream breaks me from my mind. Melissa's scream. Without even thinking my feet make their way back to the mansion.

Her screams become more distant the further I go and when I go inside, I go into the elevator and from there back to the room where I woke up in.

Lucky for me I left the door open, otherwise I would have never found it. What I notice on the door, that I didn't see before.

On the outside of the door are letters, of course written in black. Alpha Lycan is written in bold black letters. Again with this Alpha thing, I don't even know what that is.

It must be something important for these people since I keep hearing it from them. I make a mental note to ask Damien's about it, when he comes back and is done torturing Melissa.

❦❦❦❦

"Hey, you okay?"

Every since Damien came back from his time with Melissa, where he hurt her and tortured her, I've been avoiding eye contact with him.