What If Three Days Meant Forever?

The Invitation

I scoff and push him away. "What happened to Mr. Optimism?"

He puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm just being realistic here. People change, Nico. It wouldn't surprise me if she was a completely different person. I'm not just going to walk into the situation expectation-less."

"I'm not asking you to." I say calmly before sitting on my bed. Will watches me for a few seconds before walking over and settling down next to me. "Yeah, okay, sure. I miss my family." I say in an I-don't-care tone.

Will smiles a little. "I know you do."

"And in your shoes, I'd be hesitant too."

"But...?"

"But," I agree. "I'd eventually go nonetheless."

"Eventually." Will repeats. I shrug my shoulders and he turns his body so that he can rest his head in my lap and look up at me.

"It's completely your choice, Will." I remind him. "If you really don't want to go, than you don't have to."

"We." He corrects.

"I thought you didn't want me to go." I remind him.

"If I have to suffer, so do you."

"You're not going to suffer, Solace."

Will shrugs his shoulders. "Either way, I'll need emotional support."

"You want me as your emotional support?"

"Of course!"

"Why?"

"'Cause if I'm stressed out," Will leans up onto his elbows and kisses my chin. "I have you to hold on to."

"Not for too long, I hope." I say in a warning tone.

Will let's his head rest on my thighs once more and smiles up at me. "We'll see."

I roll my eyes and smile back down at him and for a scary moment, I feel the words bubble up in the back of my throat like bile. "I-" I choke on my tongue, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea.

"You okay?" Will asks in a concerned tone. He sits up properly, now next to me, giving me that concerned look.

I nod my head. "Choked on my spit." I lie. Will looks at me suspiciously but nods slowly. "I'll meet you at lunch, yeah?"

"What, you're kicking me out now?"

"Sure, Solace." I say before leaning in to kiss him. "I will see you in an hour or so. Be patient."

"Fine. Are you going to start packing in the meantime?" I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. Will rolls his eyes. "For going to see my mom?"

I make an "o" shape with my mouth. "Right. Um, I may get started."

"Alright, well, I'll see you in an hour then." Will smiles and makes his way to the door.

As he closes it behind him, I nod to myself, trying to keep my body still. However, that doesn't help me as I find myself barreling to the bathroom and vomiting into the toilet.

"Gods." I mutter quietly.

This isn't what.... the L-word feels like, right? If so, I don't think I'll survive it if I'm throwing up all the time. I don't eat very much to begin with, so losing pounds I don't even have will definitely be detrimental.

Why didn't I just tell him I loved him? I think to myself pitifully.

I mean, I wanted to say it.

I've wanted to say it ever since he said it to me, but as soon as those three little words left his mouth, I clamped mine shut.

Maybe it's a guilt thing. I thought as I walked back to my cabin is disdain. It's not really a secret I don't deserve Will or anything he gives me. In fact, I'll probably only bring him down as we progress as a couple.

So why are you still here? Part of me thinks angrily.

I'm selfish, that's why.

And as much as it kills me to do so, I know I can't tell Will I love him. Not yet, at least.

Not until I can accept what that means.