How Far I've Come (Keith x Reader)

? Hanging Out; Chapter Twenty ?

That look in her eyes, glazed over with the strain of refusing to sob. "Your father and I are going to be taking a break from one another. He's moving in with a friend of his, and if things go a certain way, you're going to visit them every few months to stay for a few days."

..Why?

"Like.. like a divorce?"

"Yes, smart girl. A divorce. I hate so much to be the one to tell you, and you can be as mad as you want. Once we get the approval, we're gonna move far away and get you into a good school where you can learn to pilot like your grandma wanted." She hugs your shoulders.

"Oh.." You mumble.

Love is supposed to be forever, like a footprint in the sands of time, or at least that's how Dad always referred to it. But maybe.. maybe a wave came along and obscured it. Can that happen? Are.. are you a wave? The wave?

"Are you alright, baby?" Mom asks, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

"Yeah. I just need some time to myself, to think. That's all."

That was the day that you turned to literature in hopes of finding a lick of happiness, one you couldn't obtain outside of your imagination. Your favorite books were practically your therapy, and your journal morphed into the anti-stress pill that you pretended to take every day.

Soon journals filled with dark poetry and random spills of raw human emotions filled your shelves, along with your personal favorite reads, your lucky writing pencil, and some extra lead that lingered around all over the place.

Your bi-monthly visits, and even your time at home with Mom became less and less talking, and more and more ignorance. School was as lonely as home was, but you learned to adapt with not having someone on your team. A friend by your side. You had words, beautiful words that you used to describe the curses and wishes and dark thoughts floating around in that noggin.

One night, on a fateful weekend night, Dad decided to try a new substance. You don't remember the name, nor do you want remember what ruined you that awful night, but it resulted in the reading and burning of a great, great journal. Your favorite. Hot ambers stung your forearm as you tried desperately to save it from the fiery death it was destined to have.

.."I HATE YOU!"..

That was nearly three years ago, maybe more. You don't care. Your mother pushed her request after seeing your anger and stress bottled up for so long, not ready to let it pop on someone who doesn't deserve it. You moved far, far away, ending up enlisted in the Galaxy Garrison, in the solo fighter class.

Your scrumptious words and overwhelming homework became too much of a burden to visit Mom. She let herself decay until she was too tired to function. Jobless, loveless, and broke she remained until she withered away. You're still to blame for that, according to yourself.

Dad lives with his second family far, farther away. You couldn't care any less about him. It's been years since you've gotten a text or eMail, partially because of space, and partially because you never responded to his petty apologies after Mom died, asking you to quit school and move back. "Work at my new local restaurant" he would say, "there's so much of it that I can pay you in fun instead of cash, you're my own daughter!"

So you roughed it in a Garrison dorm until Nix.

...

"And that's all you need to know." You say. A proud feeling emerges from the dark, deep nostalgic ones, embracing you for holding it together. "A lot of people have it worse than me."

Keith stays silent. Choosing from a delicate, shallow pool of words after that was difficult. Does he compare the childhood he had to yours? Does he just say 'that sucks' and give you a hug? Should he kiss you and distract you from the pain? Would that be greedy?

"I'm sorry." Is all he croaks. "Your Mom sounds like she was a nice person."

"At least I knew my Mom." You say empathetically. "I didn't make you sad, did I?" A soothing hand, yours, rubbed gentle circles into his back. He leans into it, slowly, as if he didn't want to admit to the comfort it gave him.

"No, I'll be okay." He sighs. "I wish it was better, for both of us. But, without things going the way they went, we would have never met."

"But what if it were under better circumstances? Like.. what if we were neighbors in the friendliest neighborhood, or we met at a fancy building that both of our parents made the best salaries at? Instead of a flight school we didn't want to be at, ending up in a ship light years away from Earth."

Keith's grin is faint, effortless, but it's there. "I don't like to question fate. It may have screwed me over more times than I can count, but I owe it enough, for letting me be here with you."

Your eyes widen. The best kind of embarrassment takes over you, the kind that doesn't even let you look him in the eye. As you turn away and fluster, he smiles softly, turning his body in a want to read your face. "You okay?"

"With you?" You mumble weakly, trying to fight past the barrier of flattery. "Too okay."

The ripping sound of an alarm ruined your chances of another short n' sweet kiss. Knowing the seriousness of the moment, you both heaved off of the bed and ran together to the control room, picking up Keith's Paladin armor along the way.

Everything is already in full swing once you reach the rest, you could practically smell chaos in the bustling aura. You join the ring of people around the data table, beholding holograms of large ships and zoomed-in weaponry. "What's going on?"

"We only have ten minutes, give or take, before the fleet is close enough to fire. Not enough time to plan, just roll with it and take out as many cruisers as you see! Go!" Shiro finalizes.

"Y/n comes with me." Keith says immediately. When all is said and done and the battle begins, that leaves Coran and Allura to watch over the battle, and Lotor and Y/n alone. He won't have that, at least, he won't have that now.

"Your plan consists of throwing her right into a dangerous battle situation without a plan, Red Paladin." Lotor turns to you as he speaks. "We'll stay apart if that's what you want, but this isn't what's best."

"Lotor and I need to talk things out anyways."

"I said I'd be there!"

"Keith, we don't get to pick and choose things in war. I'll be fine! The universe needs you, go!" You hustle him, keeping him in pace with the other Paladins that are headed for the hangars. "I'll see you afterward." You say to your, now, lonely self.

The halls seem just as lonely as you walk through them, headed for your room. The sounds of blasting cannons and vulgar explosions are background noise, too far away, too distant to be frightening.

It seems that you had been walking for longer than days when Lotor grabbed your wrist gently, catching your attention without the threat he used to hold more of. "Did you really want to talk things through?" He asks sincerely.

"Yes," You say, pulling yourself out of worry and his hand. "I know somewhere more comfortable where we can have our conversation."

The plush cushions of the lounge give you little comfort, due to the situation you had put yourself into by choice.

You and Prince Lotor.

In a room together.

Alone. For the first time, (by your own choice).