Soren

Chapter Twenty Four

"I don't know how much you're going to remember, you were pretty out of it," she leaned back in her chair, "Matt came over to check on you, he was worried about the both of you, we both were. He was appalled at what he found, James was almost passed out, he'd been drinking for at least three days, and you were upstairs unresponsive. James was so focused on himself and his stupid self-pity, that he didn't notice that my best friendwas upstairs trapped in a wheel chair with no access to food. Not that you were conscious enough to even notice, or care."

Soren had never heard Margot so shaken, her voice gave way to a trickle of tears that she tried to wipe away as discretely as possible.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Ren. It's not your fault, you just went through one of the most traumatizing events of your life, of course you're going to be riding an emotional rollercoaster. Who I don't forgive is James, he can't do that, he can't forget about you just because he's feeling a little guilty."

Soren wondered where all of her friend's compassion had gone. Maybe she had gone through a lot, but it wasn't fair of Margot to discount James' own suffering and guilt after having to stand on the side lines and witness everything that had happened.

"Still, I'm sorry you had to go through that, and that you had to see me and James in such unfortunate circumstances. You have to understand, Mar, he isn't normally like that."

"I know babe, but Matt and I agree that you should stay here for a while, just so the both of you can recover. Matt will check in on James, and you and I can get you back to walking and moving that hand of yours again."

Soren nodded, she did think that maybe being in Margot's care would do her some good. She hoped that James was alright on his end as well, maybe Matt could give her an update when she saw him next.

Slowly and surely, days began to pass. Margot and Soren would spend their days going on small walks around the house and slowly but surely, Soren was regaining her strength. The doctor came twice to check in on her and make sure her stitches hadn't torn with all the movement and was pleasantly surprised with the way she was healing. Margot was a patient and devoted care taker, always making sure Soren was comfortable and happy, and always a never-ending stream of pack gossip and entertainment.

The nightmares were back though, more intense than ever. Before she had met the wolves, and before she had fought Grace, she had never been able to remember anything other than shadows and fear upon waking up. Since that wretched day however, Soren's dreams were filled with the face of Grace as she contorted and took her last breath. It was haunting, and Soren ached for the release of a dreamless sleep.

It was eight days in that Soren and Margot decided to take their walk outside. Soren had been begging Margot for fresh air since the day they had started their little escapades, but Margot had insisted they stay inside where the chair was near, and they wouldn't need Matt's help if something were to go wrong.

Taking the steps of the porch one by one, Soren stilled as all the hairs on her arms stood up. She didn't even have to turn her head to know exactly who it was that had made his way over soundlessly. Turning to face him, she felt like she could breathe, like she had been drowning for days and had just now broken the surface.

His face was morose, but even he could not help the sparks that flew as their eyes met for the first time in over a week.

"I was wondering if maybe I could come with you on your walk today, maybe give Margot a break?"

Soren looked over at her companion who gave her a nod of encouragement, then nodded towards the beautiful man that waited at the bottom of the stairs.

James smiled a bittersweet smile, his mate was a sight for sore eyes, but it seemed she had retreated back into her beautiful shell, back to wordless replies instead of the words he had coaxed out of her not long after meeting.

"Alight then, Little One, I know just the route."

She linked her hand into her awaiting arm, she didn't yet have the ability to walk without support, and although James wished she didn't need it, he was glad she was forced to be near him.

They took off on a small circle of the house, before he ventured towards a path at the entrance of the forest, where he knew she loved to be. He watched enraptured as she breathed in deep, closing her eyes and feeling the forest, embracing the atmosphere as if it was a part of her.

They walked for a while in silence before he broke it,

"Why don't we sit over here for a bit, I want to talk if that's alright."

Perching herself daintily on the log he had motioned towards, she nodded at his request.

"I want to start with an apology. I've failed you as a mate-" the hand that reached out to take hold of his caused a pause in his speech, the small shake of her head caused a blank in his train of thought. He knew what she was trying to say, he just happened to disagree,

"It was my fault, Ren. It never should have gotten that bad. Not many people know of the struggle I've had with alcohol in the past. It's not something I like to advertise and it's not something many of the pack know or would suspect. I was good at hiding it, and Matt helped me to salvage my reputation when I was at my worst. I owe my life to Matt, he's always been there for me, and I'm glad him and Margot have been there for you these past couple days."

A lone tear slid down Soren's cheek, James was sharing his past with her and it was obvious he was ashamed, and it caused him pain to bear it to her.

"It started when I couldn't find my mate, the depression, I mean. I started spiralling out of control. Everyone was finding their other half except me, and I started to wonder why I wasn't worthy and what I had done wrong. I see now that the fates weren't mad at me at all, I was just holding out for something better. But in any case, that's how the drinking got started, slowly all my friends got busier and busier with families and their domestic lives, and I just got more and more lonely.

I know that's no excuse, and I promise I've been sober for a while now, well before I met you. That night – sorry, those nights– were a relapse I don't plan on having again."

Soren launched herself into his lap, almost knocking him over if it weren't for his supernatural reflexes,

"Even if you do, I'll be here, James. I'll always be here."

She tucked her head into the crook of his neck and that's where they stayed until the last rays of sun began to fade behind the trees, and it was time to go home.

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Kind of a rushed chapter, sorry about that,

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-C