Crushing On You

Chapter 43

Jade frowned. "What? I never said that."

"You're making it sound like you only want me now because you suck."

Jade swallowed that insult.  She clearly wasn't very good at expressing her feelings. "Okay, okay look. I love you and I want you. How's that?"

"Ah that's better." Perrie nuzzled her. "Don't worry Jade. We'll find Jesy on our own. No one knows how to find her but us. We're her closest friends so we'll be able to sniff her out and bring her back."

Jade did not know where this was coming from but it sounded stupid. "Shut up."  She murmured in irritation.

Perrie thought she was being comforting. "Well okay." She said with attitude. "So . . . how you feeling? I can tell you feel like shit but I want your words."

Jade sighed. "I'm just worried I guess." She was still holding onto the girl. "I mean, Jesy's really not in a good way. I didn't tell yous but she cut-"

"We know, we know." Perrie sighed. "I know how she got the way she is but it still freaks me out when I think of it." Jesy had been such a sweet little loser when they were kids. "Poor loser."

Jade smiled though she was still worried. "I just want her back. If I had her and you I'd feel complete again."

"Awwww . . . so you don't like Leigh anymore?" Perrie wanted to make sure.

Jade looked up at her. "I never- fine. I'll leave her for Jes."

Perrie smirked. "Okay."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry. I tend to do that without thinking." Perrie rubbed Jade's back. "I feel like Jesy's okay where ever she is. Well not okay but at least not dead. She wouldn't die like that."

"Well . . . I don't know." Jade remembered all the fun times she had with Jesy when they were little. "I just want me big sister back."

"Me too. She was my sister too you know." Perrie kissed her forehead.

Jade found Perrie so weird. She's not your sister you ninny she's mine! "Yeah . . . I hope they find her."

"They will. Trust me." Perrie smiled at her.

Jade found everything Perrie said to be bullshit. But I won't say that now. She sighed and looked into Perrie's eyes.

They stared for a while before they got into that mood and started to kiss each other.

Jade liked kissing Perrie. It felt safe and correct. She's not ugly and nasty like that disgusting germ who barely had lips to kiss. Ew. Todd was just . . . I need therapy after that one. She hoped that Perrie wouldn't mind taking a break from sex for a while.  This kiss felt a lot different than the others they'd shared.  It wasn't an angry make out or a lust filled frenzy.  It wasn't a drunken display of passion either.  It was soft and lingering and just so sweet.  It kind of reminded Jade of her single kiss with Leigh-Anne and she felt like she could definitely get used to this slow softness from Perrie.  It felt new and thrilling and beautiful. She's mine . . .

The door clicked open suddenly and they were aware that they were being watched.

The two girls stopped their kissing abruptly to look at who came in and then froze.

Jade's parents had come in to check on her and met this . . .

Jade blinked for a while before she began to cry. "Nooooo!" Her life was the worst thing on earth about now!  She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe!  Years of internal denial and mistreating Perrie in an effort at self preservation for it to all come down as soon as she gave in, as soon as she was honest.  If her stomach wasn't completely empty she would have hurled.