Love Is Real (Maylor)

Aftermath

"I was sitting on a park bench trying to figure out what to do, Brian. Because so many doubts were swimming through my mind, I could hardly think straight. I thought about it and decided that a stupid phone call wasn't worth ending our relationship." Roger wiped his cheeks roughly. "I forgave you before you even apologize because I loved you and I wanted to be with you."

"Loved?" Brian asked quietly.

"I don't know how to feel now, Brian." Roger said, his voice small.

"Please... Roger, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have let her in the room and I should've done more to push her off."  Brian's tone was pleading. "I was drunk and she kissed me. I'm telling the truth. I-I don't feel anything for her. I love you. Not her."

Roger watched out the window, deep in thought. "Okay."

"What?" Brian asked dumbly.

"I said okay. I believe you." Roger said, his voice wavered a bit. "But this changes everything, Brian. You hurt me. I can't trust you like I did before. Not right now."

"What does that mean for us?" Brian frowned.

Roger met his eyes and stayed silent. Brian saw how broken he was. He hated himself for hurting him this way.

"I love you, Roger." Brian said, staring in his eyes. "Do you still love me?" He asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Brian..."

"Please. Do you still love me?" Brian asked again.

"Yes. But... I need time. I can't do this right now. I look at you and I see her. I can't get the image out of my mind, Brian. I-I can't." Roger was shaking now, closing his eyes tightly. "How could you do this, Bri? After everything I told you. After everything..." a small sob escaped his mouth.

Brian cautiously wrapped his arms around him, holding him as he sobbed. He began crying himself as they clung to each other. He did this to him. He caused him all this pain.

"Was I not enough?" Roger whispered, his voice sounding so small and fragile, Brian though he might break with a gust of wind.

"Of course you were. You are." Brian said, pulling away to look in his eyes. "You are more than enough, Roger. You are my everything."

Roger gazed into his eyes, swallowing the tears back. "I wanted to hate you. I wanted to be angry and not forgive you. Never forgive you. But... I can't. No matter how much I wanted to just scream at you and throw you out. I fucking can't. Because you made me love you and now I can't stop. Even after you hurt me. Even after you hurt me in the worst way. I still love you." He cried, gripping his shoulder tight.

Brian nodded solemnly. He opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Roger.

"We were both upset. You shouldn't have kept the phone call from me and I shouldn't have run away to think about it. You were drunk and she took advantage of that. You were vulnerable. I-I understand." Roger said, his eyes never leaving the hazel ones in front of him.

"I'll never talk to her again. I'll never get that drunk again. I promise. I swear on my life, Rog. Whatever you want me to change, I will." Brian said, eyes wide.

"No. I don't want you to change for me. But... no more secrets." Roger watched him, picking his nails.

"No more secrets." Brian agreed, nodding.

Roger gave him a weak smile, sniffling quietly.

"What does this mean for us?" Brian asked quietly. "Are we still together?"

"Yes... but I need to learn to trust you again. Just... Just give me some time." Roger said, biting his lip. "Will you wait for me?"

"Always." Brian replied. "I'd wait forever, Rog."

"I still love you." His words were soft and fragile.

"I love you too." Brian said back, his voice near shattering.

They'd said it a million times before, but this time, the words were filled with pain and heartbreak.

This time, it hurt them both.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AUTHORS NOTE:

I feel like this is really bad, but it's storming hella bad so I felt like writing. I might put out another chapter of Fantastic Drowse tonight as well (if I don't pass out lol)

Sorry if it sucks, but let me be clear, Brian didn't REALLY cheat, per say. He did a little tho. Eh, I'll let you guys decide. Do you consider what he did to be cheating or do you think he was more so taken advantage of? Let me know!

I'll try to have the next one be longer!

Peace ✌🏻