I thought I had everything I could have ever dreamt of, the job, the house and you.
But then you walked out on me
and I don't know how to start over.
You were everything I wanted,
everything I needed
and now you're gone.
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Highest rank:
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We became prom king and queen a few weeks later and we danced all night. Your parents were away at that time and we slept together for the first time that night. You said you were a virgin too but now I know you slept with my friend the week before we said 'I love you'. I barely have any old friends left because of you.
Every good memory I had with you now got turned into a bad one because I know I wasn't your only one.
"Hey Elle, do you want to go for a walk?" Ben asked beside me and I looked at him, I was too deep into thought before that I didn't remember the topic of the conversation. But I nodded and we got up. We walked to the lake in silence and when he started walking towards the rocks where we said it, I couldn't help but chuckle. "Are you alright?"
"I'm okay" I replied with a small nod when we both sat down. He looked at me slightly worried before looking down at my hands.
"You seemed to zone off when Amber started talking about that guy she's dating." He said when I realised the previous topic again. "Especially when she asked if he could join us next time we go on a weekend." I shrugged my shoulders without saying a word and he kept his eyes on me. "What's going on?"
"Still the same shit as last week when we talked on the phone." I replied softly and he nodded before putting his arm around my shoulder
"Usually you get so happy and excited when Amber has news like that." He said and I nodded slowly, he knew what was going on but he just wanted me to admit it.
"This place just brought back a lot of memories, that's all." I said before looking up at him and he kept staring at me, waiting for me to admit it now. "I thought he was the one for me. I thought I was going to marry him one day. It's the first time we're here without him after 8 years. Elodie and Courtney weren't even in the picture yet when he started to come along with us. And now Chris is married, you're engaged and I'm sure it won't take long until Alec proposes to Courtney too. But above all of that, even Amber will be taking a boy with her next time and I'm going to be there on my own." I said softly while I kept my eyes on the water infront of us. "I know I'm still young and you only met Elodie when you were 25, which I will be soon, but that doesn't change how hard this is. I was sure that he was it for me."
He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. I let out a soft sigh before I put my head down on his shoulder. "You're going to find someone new, someone so much better than Thomas. You're going to create new memories and forget all the terrible old ones. Just don't give up yet Elle. You are an incredible and gorgeous woman, you just have to give your mind time to heal now. Give yourself time to move on and don't rush into something new just cause you want to feel loved. Because if that's what you need, drive an hour to the south and I'll cuddle with you all day and watch movie marathons with you. I'll feed you ice cream and make sure you know how special you are." Ben said and we both laughed softly, "You are my little sister and I love you a lot, but it's killing all of us to see you this broken. We want our cheery and happy Elle back so we can make fun of you again. And if you need to escape LA for a while, there's a house in San Diego or San Fransisco where you are more than welcome at all times. If you need a place to run to, you know Chris and Alec would always take you in for a while and so would I. The school year is almost over so just hold on a little longer and then you're free to run, you have three places atleast an hour away from home to run to where you are always welcome." He said and I looked at him with a smile.
"Thank you Ben" I said before hugging him thightly
"Tomorrow will be a better day and I'm going to help you find a new place that you can afford, I know it's not doing you any good to stay there." He said and I nodded softly.
I looked behind me when I heard footsteps and Amber, Chris and Alec where approaching us. Chris sat down on my other side with Amber beside him while Alec sat down next to Ben.
"The girls are cleaning everything up and then going to sleep." Alec said to Ben while Chris looked at me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"We love you little one and we're always here for you, never forget that." He said softly while his eyes focussed on mine.
"Thank you, giant." I replied and he chuckled softly, he was the tallest one of the family and I reached until his shoulder when standing so giant has been his nickname ever since we were kids, it just sticked.
"Tomorrow, the 5 of us are going to take that old canoe and go out to that small island. Just us, like old times." Alec said while he looked at the island that was still being lit by the stars above us.
"We're probably going to sink halfway but we can all swim, right?" Ben said with a grin on his face and we all laughed softly. "I mean I'm pretty sure it has a hole in the bottom so I don't know how we are going to get there."
"We'll figure it out, we always do." I replied and I looked at them while they all had smiles on their faces.
The bad memories slowly faded one by one while I made room for new happy memories without him.
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BenMiller: family weekends, no fish in the lake and summer sunsets.
79 likes MommaMiller: all grown up but still the same ♥️ had a lovely weekend, thank you for coming boys! ChrisMiller: RIP old canoe... AlecMiller: i love your original ways of tagging Elle every time JasmineOMiller: you all acted like kids all weekend AmberMiller: i love you Ben!!
