Alpha Without a Pack...

Chapter 48

 "Well it's actually an interesting story how I met them. I grew up in a pack that protected me, they were strong and they kept me safe, taught me to fight, that kind of stuff." She has a far off look in her eyes as she speaks of memories I know must not all be easy. "I was lucky that they all respected me, even more lucky that my wolf went through puberty a lot later than usual. It was a couple months before my 18th birthday when I first went into heat." I can't help wincing at the bitterness in her tone but I keep silent as we share a knowing look and she continues. 

"It changed everything, the males in the pack that weren't related to me turned against my parents and older brothers. They wiped each other out until it was just me and my oldest brother left. He tried to defend me when the rogues came and we fought side by side, we killed all of them but my brother was hurt pretty bad and died later that day from his injuries." She sighs heavily, I know sorry can't help but somehow I'm drawn to laying one of my hands over hers in comfort and understanding.

 "I was still going through my heat, my pack was wiped out, my home was gone and so I went on the run. I became a nomad like you are now, except unlike you I wasn't able to conceal my scent so well which meant I was always on the move and watching my back." Her tone is cold something I more than understand. "I think the pain, anger and hate of what happened to my family is what helped me get through the h*** of my first heat on my own." She states bitterly and I nod my agreement, before going back to stir the boiling pot of soup so it wouldn't burn. "Believe me, I know all about that personal slice of h***." I murmured lowly. 

"Yeah well after that was over I still kept on the move as a nomad, for a couple of months I hung out in a small town trying to keep a low profile. I stayed there until I caught the scent of more rogue wolves in the area and I moved on in a hurry. I was running through the trees in wolf form trailing a deer on a hunt when I ran right into another wolf. We were both surprised at first but I was the first to recover and I went straight to defending myself against the strange isle without a second thought." She chuckles softly at her memory now and it has me tilting my head to her intently. 

"The first time I met them I tried to kill them, until a second male Alpha Alvarado himself came and knocked me off of poor Kasen. Sure I put up a good fight against him too but I'm no alpha, he made me submit albeit begrudgingly. Then when three more males strolled in I just knew they were going to kill me, but they didn't." Her sigh is lighter now as brightness shines in her eyes. 

"They shifted and started remarking about me being a she wolf and how I was 'just a kid', a fact I found infuriating despite their deliciously fine a**es. Eventually they had me shift and got me talking once we were all clothed. They took me back to their house and instead of trying to hurt me they took care of me, a nice change of pace after being alone for so long." I'm surprised she considers a couple of months to be a long time but she has no clue how long I've been alone so it's not something I choose to comment on. 

"They kind of grew on me and I grew on them, they made me part of their pack and when we finally stopped avoiding our shared attraction to each other and had plenty of heated discussions, well they made me their wife and I've never been so happy. Sure there were some steep learning curves and we had our share of fights but I love them and somehow they all love me so we make it work. When the kids came along it only brought us closer together, although when their being overprotective about everything it does tend to get annoying." She huffed lightly. 

"Tell me about it, I had to teach poor Blake a lesson about trying to boss me around. I move in next door and wind up friends with the crazy fools only to draw them into my mess of a life and ending us all up here. I guess the main reason for wanting to keep them safe is the fact that it's my fault their mixed up in all of this in the first place." I groaned lowly at the guilt welling up inside me. "And I'm guessing another reason you want to keep them safe is because you care about them hmmm, after all it's not difficult to see their attractive." Her hinting remark has my wolf on edge, and it's not because I want to deny her words, it's how she's gone and said them in the first place. 

"Listen I can admit they are attractive the same way as every other shifter is because it's in the DNA, but the fact that I do care about them doesn't mean what your thinking. I like them and care for them as my FRIENDS, just friends nothing more and nothing less." I state slowly but firmly, I can't afford to think of them as anything else for all our sakes. "Well that's a bit of a shame if your telling the truth like it seems you are, I used to think the same way about every flea bitten jerk out there, but things change. When they finally get you to realize the very things about yourself that even you don't seem to know, or the things your scared to face, it's like finding part of yourself you didn't know was missing." I'm digging my nails into my palms by the time she's finished speaking.

 "Well Mads I admit we have a lot in common but that last bit not so much, I'll never let anyone claim a part of me missing or not. True it's nice to have some friends at my back and I've accepted the fact I'm stuck with them, but I do not belong to them now and I will never belong to anyone, that much I do know." I gritted out roughly to her studying gaze. "I believe you Sidney and you certainly have a mind of your own, but that doesn't change one important little thing you seem to be forgetting." She hummed softly and when she turned to stir the pot of soup my impatient curiosity got the better of me. "And what little thing might that be?" I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin defiantly as she turned her gaze back at me. 

"You forget they have minds of their own too." She hummed out. "I haven't forgotten that in the slightest, they make it perfectly clear each time they voice their annoyance at my actions." I huffed back. "Yes but what of their feelings? I can guarantee with a 98% certainty that if you asked any one of them how they feel towards you they wouldn't say 'just friends'." She states and I wince openly at the truth in her words. "I know that they want me to join their pack but that's not something I'm ready or willing to do right now." I muttered out to her. "Little wolf we both know that's not what I meant, although it is a bit interesting." She eyed me curiously, I knew exactly what she meant.

 "I have no desire nor need for any sort of relationship with ANY let alone ALL of those idiots." I gritted, although it was an entertaining idea it wasn't one I could ever afford to dwell on. "In all honesty I don't have the time or energy for any sort of romantic relationship wolf or otherwise." I frowned slightly, shaking the whole 'well endowed' comment from my thoughts. The Wolf in me wanted the connections and attention such implications provided but the human part of me knew better, the same way the alpha in me would never give into them unless they killed me. "Well at least you're honest, although you might be breaking their hearts in the process." She said with pity in her eyes that annoyed me.

 "Better than breaking their necks when they inevitably try to dominate me for real." I grunted back. "And if they bared their necks to you first, would you accept them then?" She asked curiously and I scoffed softly back. "If that ever happens I'll take it as a sign the world is ending, people might change but a wolf's true nature never will." I shook my head at her. The thought though was an interesting one because if ever such a miraculous event were to take place, I'm not sure how I would respond. "I suppose you might be right, now let's call the boys in for dinner before they decide to snack on each other." She winked and I grinned back at her, a girl could learn to love it here.

*I'm still sick but feeling a bit better now, let me know what you all think of the update.*