Bound by Devotion

Chapter Twelve

His breath was harsh as he exhaled. She wasn't going to look at him. Wasn't going to apologize for things she wanted and he didn't. But she didn't have to.

"Eve, can you tell me about that dream?" His voice was the complete opposite of that breath.

"Can you describe perfection to one who has never experienced it?" she asked.

"This is important."

She did turn then. "So is my memory, Kornae. I'll never be with you, so please, let me hang on to it, I'm begging you."

He reached over and cupped her cheek. "Did I kiss you? Light touches that grew?"

She blinked. "Yes."

"Was I behind you, Eve? When we made love, was I behind you?"

Her breath stopped and the single word was so hard to get out. "Yes."

"Did I kiss your shoulder, breathing your scent deep inside me?"

She was incapable of speech so she had to nod.

He closed his eyes and swallowed.

"Could we share a dream, Kornae?"

"I thought it was." He looked in her eyes and again they were empty. "I thought I dreamed about having you. It was dream. Only, it wasn't." He shook his head before taking her hand. "What faerie wants, faerie gets." He took a deep breath and she wasn't sure she could take any more. She didn't want him to say the words. She didn't want him to hate himself. Hate her. Didn't want to carry a child that might die with her.

One didn't always get what they wanted, did they?

But he didn't say it, did he? He didn't have to.

She was pregnant.

~~~

They sat together for an eternity, simply looking at the nothingness of the land around them. Eve knew what was racing through her mind, but she knew nothing of his thoughts. Did she want to? He hated the idea of being a father. Abhorred it. Would he blame her? Would he hate her?

She straightened her legs out and ran her hands down her thighs. What was she supposed to do? She was supposed to be going to fight some big bad guy with her magic that only worked when it wanted to. When it wanted to. Her magic hurt her baby.

And she used it so fucking much. God, what kind of mother was she going to be? She was already hurting her baby. Baby.

She just have made a sound because he turned to her.

"I don't know what to do," she said, flinching at how broken her voice was. "I don't know what to feel. I don't know how you feel. Do you hate me? You should hate me. Though, I don't think it was my fault? But yes, hate."

"Eve, stop. Please. I don't hate you. I don't blame you. How could I? I thought it a dream as well. The first one since you healed me that I haven't woken up with screams echoing in my head."

"Really?"

He almost smiled. "Yes." He took her hand from her thigh. "If I blame anyone, it's Sebastian."

She frowned. "Why him?"

"He told me to lay down beside you. To not think about the past or future. Just lay beside you. And, while I didn't mean to fall asleep there, I did."

"Huh," she said. "Did it help?"

He lifted a brow and she blushed. "I mean before you knew that..." she waved a hand at her belly.