?????? ? ??????

Ben nods. "That makes sense," Beverly says. "Sounds like when I was with Bill. I realized later on, though, that it was friendly feeling. Do you think maybe you just have friendly feelings for him?"

Immediately, Eddie shakes his head. "No, absolutely not." He pauses. His head rests against the back of the couch and he laughs lightly. "I don't really know how to explain it. It's almost like I don't have any feeling for him at all?"

"But you said you had deep affection?" Ben implies, raising his eyebrows.

"It's like, when I'm with him and he's in a good mood..." Eddie shakes his head and looks down. "He reminds me a lot of Richie, I guess. When he's not, you know..."

And, yeah. Beverly knew. "Richie?" Ben asks, tilting his head to the side.

Bev can understand where he's coming from with that. She's met Jake countless of times, and never has he ever reminded her of Richie . Not in the slightest.

"Yeah, it's like - he get all excited about these random things," Eddie waves his hands around and smiles as he talks. "And whenever he's in a good mood, he makes all these stupid jokes, and he's so touchy, but gentle, actually, you know?"

Ben shoots Beverly a look that says we'll talk about this later.

"Okay, moving on," Beverly says quickly. "We want to talk to you about what love is really supposed to be like."

Eddie nods slowly, looking at them. He looks eager, almost. Nothing like how he looked when they first began. "Okay, so..." Ben sighs before he starts talking. "It's like - when I look at Beverly, I get this feeling. Down in the bottom of my stomach, and I can never really tell what it is. I've been feeling it for years, but it's still as prominent as it was when I first met her. And she still makes me nervous, too, even after being with her for five years. I mean, I live with her! And she still manages to make me feel butterflies in my stomach with the smallest look." Eddie stays silent during Ben's little speech, but he looks on edge. He just keeps looking at his shoes. "And everytime I look at her, it's like the first," he continues, looking at Beverly with soft eyes. "Because I will never get over how beautiful she is. Even the flaws, like the scar underneath her lip from that rock fight with Bower's gang, they just make her even more beautiful. Her personality is beautiful. She never fails to light up a room. I just can't get enough of her."

Beverly feels her heart swelling with every word. She squeezes his hand again. When she turns back to Eddie, she's grinning. "I feel all that and more about him. I think I always loved him, even when I dated Bill, I just never knew it. He makes me crazy. It hurts me when he has bad days about his weight. You can never shake the image of yourself like that, you know? I want nothing more than to ease pain. He doesn't deserve any of it. He balances me out, too, which is really really nice. When I get a little too crazy, or want to go smoke weed with Rich, he's there to talk me out of it. He always helps me out of my funk. He always wants what's best for me, I for him. I love him so fucking much, Eddie." When Eddie's name leaves her mouth, she's brought back to the reality of the situation. Her eyes are sad, now, as she looks at him. "I just.. I don't know if that's how Jake feels about you. I mean, do you even feel that way about him?"

"I need to go to the restroom." Eddie states quietly, standing up and stumbling to the bathroom of their house. Beverly stands to follow him. When she gets to the bathroom, he's dry heaving into the toilet, his hands on either side and his knees on the tiles floor.

Bev rushes forwards and places a hand on his back. She rubs it up and down comfortingly, while Eddie continues to dry heave. He's coughing, making awful noises, his back hunching. Beverly wonders briefly is he needs his inhaler, but he's been trying not to use it as much, so she holds herself back from asking. He finishes eventually, leaning back against his heels. His entire face is red when he looks over at Beverly. "I'm sorry," he says, removing his hands from the toilet. "I don't know what happened. Just, with you two talking like that..." He looks down at his hands. "It made me feel sick."

"Sorry?" Beverly doesn't know how to respond to that.

"No!" Eddie goes to reach out for her, but stops when he sees his hands again. He grimaces and makes to stand up and go over to the sink. "It's just. Hearing you guys say that stuff about being in love, it makes me... I don't think I love Jake," he says, avoiding her gaze by buising himself washing his hands. "But he does love me. Before you say anything," he adds, turning to look at her. He leans his back against the sink. "I think he does, but like, in some sort of sick way. You get me?"

Beverly grins and claps a hand on his shoulder. "That's what I've been saying this whole time!"

"I can't leave him, Bev," he says, looking at her with wide eyes. "I can't do that to him."

"You would be helping him," she tells him, frowning. "If you sit down and talk to him -"

"If I sit down and talk to him, I'll stay!" Eddie yells desperately. "I know I will, Bev. He's like my mother! He'll just manipulate me until I agree to stay with him. He's done it before, he'll do it again!"

"We won't let him." Bev reassures him. "We'll be there with you, but he won't know. If he tries anything, we'll interfere. You're getting the hell out of there, okay?"

Eddie takes a few deep breaths before he nods. "Yeah," he says, running his hands along his forearms. "I want to. I really want to."

Beverly just hugs him.

Ben and Bev wave after him as he pulls out of their driveway. When he's gone, she turns to Ben with a frown on his face. "This must suck for him," she says, pushing her face into Ben's shoulder.

"Yeah," Ben says, running his fingers through her hair. "Yeah, I know."