Identity | Various!BNHA x Reader

Chapter 26: Helplessness

Best Jeanist's words ring in my ear as I resist my urge to cry. I sniff and stop my tears from falling. I feel Best Jeanist place his arm onto my shoulder, trying to comfort me gently.

"Hey (Y/n)," A rough voice calls out to me as I avert my gaze from Best Jeanist and look at who is in front of me, "you really worried me..."

"Bakugou..." I stare into his face, noticing his resistance on lashing out at me for being reckless, "Thank you for your worries..."

His figure is slightly hunched and his fists are tightly closed with his knuckles turning white. I almost feel his anger come out from his body. I realise why he is so angry; though we are going through a fight, we still care about each other as friends.

He walks up to me and stops himself from saying anything, pausing until forcing out, "Just... be careful next time; you scared me..."

He lowers his head and throws himself down onto a chair next to my bed.

"Oh yes (Y/n), your internship will end here; you need to rest right now. You can always come back once you've recovered properly," Best Jeanist says gently and pats my head.

I nod, understanding the reasons why and straighten the bed sheets next to me. Silence fills the room as I get up from the bed and organise my thoughts and clothes.

Best Jeanist turns around and crosses his arms, "Once you get ready, shall we go together (Y/n)?"

"Go where?" Feeling the sunlight move onto my face gradually, I squint slightly while looking at Best Jeanist's back.

He pauses and says slowly with a low voice, "... It's today..."

A pit fills my stomach and my eyes go dark once more as I realise what day it is today. I look at the floor sadly and Best Jeanist also appears to share the same emotion as I.

"Is it already that time of the year? I didn't realise that it was so close," I laugh light-heartedly and lower my head.

Best Jeanist stretches his arm out to Bakugou, asking, "Will you be joining us Bakugou?"

The aggressive explosive boy raises his eyebrow and places one of his hands on his hip, "Joining you guys? Is this some sort of training or shit?"

Staring straight into Bakugou's eyes, I smile sadly at him while grasping onto the bed sheets, "Today marks the day of Harlon's death,"

__________

After the other two leave and let me shower (with a cover over my bandages and injuries), I change and pull a black dress over my head and let it wrap around my body. I fix my hair, putting one side of my hair back with a black clip that had small black ruffles on it that extended down onto my shoulder.

Opening the door, I see Best Jeanist and Bakugou dressed finely in a black suit as well as a few other colleagues.

"Shall we go now?" Best Jeanist walks towards the exit and leads everyone towards the door.

I pull on Best Jeanist's sleeve and ask, "Oh yes... What happened to Umbre? Is he alright?"

"He got injured but we rescued him before anything else could happen; don't worry. He's recovering nicely, "Best Jeanist pats my head and we head into the large van to head towards the cemetery together.

__________

Arriving at the cemetery, I step out of the van gently and automatically start walking towards Harlon's grave. Reaching Harlon's grave, I see some blue flowers placed on top of the grass gently.

I read the words engraved on the stone, reading:

"I live to help those who need to be saved" - Tsukishima Harlon

Here lies a beloved son and brother, Harlon, a great hero and a loving person.

As the others walk up behind me, we all silently make our prayers or send our thoughts to him. Not knowing what to say or think, I just look down onto the headstone and gaze with an empty stare.

I then suddenly feel Bakugou taking my hand gently into his, carefully holding mine. Gazing in my peripheral vision, I see he has his eyes closed, likely sending his regards in his mind as well even though he has never met him. My mind drifts off into my own thoughts, thinking about all the times we spent together and would've spent together.

I feel my tears well up in my eyes, making me wipe my tears with my arms. 

An hour passes by, with the others still remaining at the cemetery.

I watch as Best Jeanist takes out a photo of him and Harlon together, placing it onto the headstone and whispers, "We all miss you..."

Letting go of Bakugou's hand, he gazes at me and I watch as he stops himself from asking why.

I place my hand on his shoulder and smile gently, "I just need to head to the bathroom alright? I'll be back."

He nods angrily and continues to look at Harlon's grave. I head off towards the bathroom by myself.

Though we have not sorted out our argument and fight yet, I feel a sense of sorrow and regret in him that I would accept if he apologised properly.

"Dabi?" I pause to look at his figure which is hiding behind the wall.

Before I can wave or approach him, he walks away quickly and doesn't turn back.

My thoughts are occupied once more as I remember Harlon once again.

His smile and his laugh.

His joy was my joy.

But I won't be able to see it once more.

__________

"I'll be on my way now... Goodbye everyone," I bow slightly and wave goodbye.

As I say goodbye to Best Jeanist and the others, I leave the cemetery alone and make sure no one follows after me as I get into a taxi. Riding all the way home, I look out into the blue sky. The warmth of the sun almost too painful to bear. A bright sunny day on the anniversary of the most important person in my life; the irony.

Grim thoughts fill my head once more as I sit alone in the taxi, riding all the way back to my home. As I scroll through my phone, I look at the messages that were sent among the class 1-A group chat. I notice the messages that said Todoroki, Iida and Midoriya were hospitalised which made my heart burn. I decide not to tell my classmates that I was in an incident as well as it could make them concerned.

__________

Getting out of the taxi, gloomy thoughts fill my mind.

What do I really have? My parents are constantly busy, my friends are hospitalised, and my Brother isn't alive anymore. I truly feel lonely.

I walk into the grim colour of the air, stepping into the area ahead of me. I unlock the house door and flop onto the bed sobbing.

As I give myself up to my exhausted self, I let my mind wander as I drift off to sleep. My emotions pile up slowly one after the other as I think about Harlon once more.

Harlon... Why did you have to go so soon.

Once I fall asleep, I can't help but feel a sense of... Helplessness.

__________

Next Chapter: Confidence