What Are We Doing?

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Mate?" Robin asked Killian as they sat in Robin's living room.

"Aye, I appreciate your concern, but it's something kind of personal and I don't think I'm ready to talk about it." He ran his fingers through his hair.

Robin nodded. "Well, it was good to hear from you, Jones. I figured you were busy, but I hadn't realized you were back in town.."

Killian looked over at his friend. "Oh, yeah, I moved back a few weeks ago.. I should have told you sooner." He shrugged.

Robin shook his head. "Don't worry about it.. Regina and Roland will be glad to see you when they get home." He smiled. "I'm going to assume your mood is because you've seen Emma?"

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "Aye, how did you know?"

"There's only one reason you would show back up here after the way you left.. And it would be for her. You forget you're my best mate, I know you very well."

"Of course I came back for her.. The last five years were awful, I regret leaving her the way I did.. And it's awful, the way I treated her." He sighed.

"After you left, I didn't see her much, but I think Regina still talks to her every once in a while.. She's a strong woman though.." Robin said.

"Of course she is, my Swan was always strong.." Killian sighed. "She's showed me recently that she's stronger than even I thought she was.. Rob, I need to talk to someone about this, and I won't get to talk to Liam for a couple days.. But you can't tell anyone what I tell you.."

"Mate, of course I won't tell anyone. Is everything alright? Is Emma alright?" Robin was slightly worried at Killian's expression.

"Everything's fine, Robin.. Emma is fine. She just told me something that's important, and.. I just need to talk about it with someone." Killian took a deep breath, trying to keep tears from his eyes.

"I met Emma at a coffee shop the other day, and she told me.. She told me.. We lost a baby, Robin. She had been pregnant when I left, and.. She miscarried, and I ignored her. She was alone, and.. I should have been here."

"Oh, Killian.. I'm sorry.. Losing a baby like that is an awful feeling, and.. Obviously you're affected, but are you okay?" Robin asked.

"Aye, I'm.. I think I'm okay.. I'm more worried about what I put Emma through.. Of course I wish she would forgive me, but now.. Now I know why she might not ever forgive me. And it kills me to know that she's gone through so much alone."

"Of course, Killian.. You know you can be hurt by this too. You may not have been here, but you loved her, and you lost a child too."

"She told me that the only people who know are her doctors and her, and she just told her best friend.. Dave and Mary Margaret don't even know, Robin.. She didn't even lean on her brother, and she had tried to lean on me but I ignored her calls.." Killian sighed. "I'm a bloody idiot."

"You are an idiot, but at least she told you now, Killian. I imagine that's a big step for her, especially since you said she's barely told anyone.." Robin sighed. "Look, fight for her. Don't push her, but don't just give up. You two were good together, and I think you could still be good together."

"Thanks, Mate.. I'm sorry I kind of just dropped in on you today.." Killian looked over at him. "It really was great to see you."

"Of course, Jones."

Before either of them could say anything else, the front door opened and Roland dropped his backpack coming to find his dad.

"Papa." The almost nine year old grinned. "Gina and I got ice cream today, isn't that cool?"