Steven Universe Future: Isolation

Chapter Eight: Isolation

"Where are we?"

Connie looked around and bit her lip. "Little Homeworld," she answered after a second. "We couldn't take you back to Beach City after...," she stopped again and blushed.

But Steven knew what she meant. The smell of smoke still stung his nose and he could still hear buildings falling around him.

"After I destroyed it," Steven finished her sentence, somewhat bitterly. The words hurt him to say and heat rose in his stomach as his face turned red. He pulled away from Connie and drew his knees close to his chest.

"Hey," Connie said, but Steven refused to look at her. "We know you weren't in control."

Steven didn't answer. He wasn't in control. Not entirely. But he remembered the elation he had felt when he heard their screams; that floating feeling of ecstasy at being unburdened by empathy and reason. He might have been tainted by corruption, but some part of him wanted to hurt them.

"Think about Nephrite," Connie said as she read the look of the contorted guilt on the teen's face. "She attacked you and the gems, but you know what she would never do anything like that now. It was her instinct to defend herself."

"It wasn't instinct," Steven countered before he could stop himself.

"From what the gems told me, you were attacking the things that hurt you. From what I felt when I was in your head, you felt so alone and like you didn't belong in Beach City anymore," Connie pressed gently.

He still didn't feel like it mattered. Especially not after this. How would they move on? How would anyone forgive him?

"No one blames you, Steven," Connie told him. "They're all in the other room, waiting to see if you're okay."

Steven's head whipped around, his eyes wide. "Who?"

"Sadie, Shep, Kiki, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, your dad," she counted on her fingers. "The rest of the city and the Diamonds are around Little Homeworld too and they keep stopping in to ask about you."

"Everyone knows?" Steven felt the color drain from his face. His head fell into his hands and he took a shuddering shallow breath.

"And no one cares," Connie told her as she put her hand on his shoulder. "They all love you, Steven, even after this."

"Do they?" Steven countered, but there was no anger in his voice.

"Yes," Connie told him firmly. "They do. And I know they want to see you."

"No," Steven whispered, shakily. He didn't want to see their faces. Would they look at him in fear when he walked in the room, ready to summon their weapons? Or would they look down on him for not being able to be better, for not being able to save himself?

"What are you afraid of?" Connie asked quietly. She moved closer to him and put her arm around him. She felt him shake, felt how he both drew away from her before he leaned into her.

"How can they accept me after this?" Steven finally answered. His voice was so low that Connie had to lean in to hear it. "I'm a monster."

"No, you're not," Connie told him. Steven glanced her way and Connie knew her next words would either confirm or deny his fear of the gems abandoning him. "You're their family."

Steven's eyes softened and his lips trembled as his eyes filled with tears again. Connie pulled him close and let him cry silently on her shoulder.

"We love you, no matter what, Steven," she told him. "And the gems out there," she said as she gestured to the window across the room, "They all know how you're feeling. You're not alone."