ateez x reader

《 hongjoong x reader x seonghwa 》

You didn't know about Hongjoong's sickness until recently when Hongjoong collapsed during their final exam. You saw what happened and ran to him, calling his name but he didn't respond. Seonghwa followed you to the hospital and that's when you found out he was terminally ill for a long time. When he collapsed in the exam hall, he was actually dead.

Hongjoong was pronounced dead in the ambulance. They were already too late the moment he collapsed.

You were a sobbing mess, dropping to the floor screaming for Hongjoong's name. Seonghwa held you as you weep, his tears drop to the floor but silently crying, remain strong for you. You two sat on the hospital floor for 2 hours until Hongjoong's parents came. Mrs. Kim was already in tears but she didn't seem that depressed. She was prepared for it to happen.

"I'm sorry, y/n-ah. He made me vowed not to tell you what happened to him. He was looking at me with angry eyes that if I tell you, he won't forgive me." Mrs. Kim hugged you. She pulled away and handed you a letter from Hongjoong. "He wrote this last week. He was expecting his death anytime and wrote this for you. It's about how he feels about you, y/n-ah. Please forgive him."

One funeral and a year later, you moved to Seoul for a fresh start in university. After the loss of your best friend Hongjoong, you and Seonghwa grew closer. As it was only the two of you, feelings clashed. Seonghwa confessed to you and you accepted his confession. You have been dating for 9 months now.

"Exam's next week. The last semester was tough; how am I going to survive this semester?" You groaned. Seonghwa chuckled across from you, his eyes focused on the laptop infront of him. "Hwa, I had a nightmare last night," Seonghwa looked up, worry on his face. "I was awake in my room and I saw Hongjoong standing in the corner of the room. He looked sad. He mumbled something to me and when I want to ask what, I woke up."

"That's the same nightmare you had two days ago. Last night too?"

"It's so weird. Last week, I had a nightmare I was walking around my house and I heard crying in the kitchen—Hongjoong cried to me once when our old music teacher rejected his song for the Christmas event."

"Let me guess; he was found crying in your kitchen when he ran away from his house?" Seonghwa asked. You looked up shocked. "He was so depressed that night. I went over to his house but he wasn't there. That was when you called me, saying you found him in your house crying. When I sent him back home, he told me everything. Mr. Hugo was an ass for rejecting his song. Hongjoong wrote that song 3 days straight. He starved himself because he wanted to prove to everyone that he can be a producer."

"Suddenly I felt his sadness from last night." You looked down. Hongjoong was always smiley and happy infront of you but behind your back, he was working so hard to pursue his dream to become a music producer.

Seonghwa sent you home after that and you put away your stuff when you saw a letter on your makeup table. It was unopened letter from Hongjoong. You couldn't read it, otherwise you cry and mourn for him. You mourned for him but you knew Hongjoong wouldn't want you to be depressed forever. You wanted to be strong, for him and yourself.

"I guess it's time." You opened the letter and it was like nostalgia hits you like a brick when you saw Hongjoong's messy handwriting.

Hi, y/n my beautiful angel.

I've always wanted to call you that but I thought that would freak you out. Which means my confession and feelings for you is exposed. If you're reading this, I am long gone. y/n, I didn't want to tell you because it's one of the most depressing things about me; I didn't want you to experience my sad side of the story. I want you to be happy with me forever and always. Forever is a strong word, so it's 'for a while' and always.

Angel, by now, you're crying over my death. Don't. I was expecting my death since I was a child and I had Seonghwa with me. We didn't know you at that time so don't feel guilty. Don't ever feel sad even when I am gone. I will haunt you if I sense you were upset. My y/n should never experience sadness but I guess it backfired when I died, right? I'm crying and laughing as I write this. I have planned what I'm about to do if I do haunt you. You know that corner of the room next to your closet? I will be there to scare you. Just don't piss yourself.

You gasped and looked up to look at the corner but it was nothing. Of course. You can't see him in any form. But you sometimes feel him at night. Sometimes, it wasn't enough to comfort you.

I bet you looked up. Angel, you may not see me but I will always be with you. You and Seonghwa. Until the day you both get together and get married, have kids and naming your son Hongjoong. Please do so. I'll make sure I'll tell God not to make it rain when you're doing laundry.

You laughed with tears in your eyes.

I love you and Seonghwa will love you forever, too. I know he would. He likes you the same time I did, maybe later, I don't know. Make sure he takes care of you or else I'll come haunting him instead. Again, I love you. I'll see you soon.

Love, Hongjoong. P.S congratulations on being in a relationship with Hwa. You deserve happiness. X

You blinked at the last part of the letter. It looked like it was written recently and there was a teardrop staining on the word happiness. You sobbed once more, hand covering your mouth from being too loud. You believed Hongjoong wrote the last part recently while you were away and cried writing it for you. You swore you felt someone pat your head and something warm embraced you as you cried.

"Stop crying, idiot." You heard a distinct voice in your ear and the comforting warmth around you disappeared, replacing with the heater's warmth in your room instead.

You wiped your tears away and smiled as you looked up.

"I love you too, idiot."

I almost cried writing this. I hope you like it~